Digressions of a Mad Lesbian

An open letter to overly curious grocery checkers

2012-02-02T19:58:00.001-08:00

Please immediately cease and desist from further commenting on my purchases.

I really do not care that you have never ever seen that vegetable before.

And I honestly couldn't care less about your guesstimation of my Superbowl plans based on my cilantro and avocado selections.

The fact that you mother uses my brand of tampon makes me...gurgh... throw up a little in my mouth.

I'm more than a little annoyed by your commentary on my alcohol choices and that somehow some magical amount seems to indicate to you that I *must* be having a party, or nuzzling up to a 12-step program.

But I am sincerely most disturbed by your "mmmmmm"ing over my goat cheese and patè. Loudly enough for the bagger to look up. And the customer behind me. How am I supposed to enjoy them now? I'm all PTSD'd from that experience every time I open the fridge now. That's like the cashier at the lingerie counter noting how soft the inside of these panties are as she rubs the crotch between her thumb and forefinger!!!

Uh-uh!! What's the matter with you?! Get your damn fingers outta my pantry!

Why Paula Deen Is Like A Promiscuous Lover

2012-01-19T15:52:00.000-08:00

I don't wish any ill on Paula Deen. I truly don't.

But there wasn't a one of us who wasn't lulled into more than one food coma by her sweet Southern accent, ever-inviting personality, impeccably ageless beauty, and her...butter...and...cream cheese...and more butter...and...mayo...and, yes, more butter.

And while I do admit to having only watched a few episodes, I also readily admit to feeling like I was doing something a little naughty in doing so. Knowing what we do about health and nutrition; knowing that that amount of butter and oil and deep-fried anythings couldn't, just could not, ever lead to anything less than a full-blown heart attack, I found myself actually whispering a sigh of relief that it was "only" diabetes that took hold of her.

She's been the Anna Nicole Smith of the cooking world. Excess so-bad-for-you-that-it's-good. Excess for the sake of excess. Excess because it was profitable. Excess in the name of family, and home, and comfort. (Ok, so that part is nothing like Anna Nicole.)

But at what cost? To herself? To her fans? To the stereotype of the overindulgent Southerner?

And yes, I know that she's not the only chef to use fat, sugar, and salt like they were gifts from the Three Kings. But to make it appear as though what she was doing was okay was really, well, not okay.

She was diagnosed 3 years ago. Three years. She was not ignorant of the effects of her health choices. But she consciously chose not to share those affects with others who were likely following her cooking regimen, or at least felt validated in their own eating habits by watching it.

It wasn't like she got diagnosed with Type-2 Diabetes and then immediately took a sabbatical. She kept right on cooking.

Withholding that vital information WHILE continuing to peddle her wares laden, as they were, with fats and sugars, was actually professionally irresponsible. Which doesn't mean that I think she couldn't continue to cook fried chicken, but to not follow up that cooking lesson with at least a warning or a now-lemme-go-check-my-insulin-real-quick-darlin' was just plain ol' hypocritical.

She slammed back at Anthony Bourdain's stomach punch, claiming he was elitist and that she was cooking for regular people. People who couldn't afford $750 bottles of wine and $300 meals, she said.

And yet, the diabetic medication she's now having to take is certainly not affordable (at $500 a month) to any of those regular people she was purportedly cooking for.

So, while I do love you, Paula Deen, if you weren't gonna keep it in your pants, you shoulda at least worn a rubber. If not for yourself, than for those that loved you.

...

Because Being Finger Happy Doesn't Always Have to Mean THAT!!

2011-06-06T13:27:00.000-07:00

So, I've got this new Apple Trackpad, which I just love for its sleek, compact, bluesteelish kind of beauty, but which also functionally provides me with the option of using the traditional trackpad embedded in the middle of my MacBook Pro or now reaching over to the side of it to complete the same functions there.

Mostly, my reasoning behind this was to help relieve my repetitive stress issues, as it's also a little wider of a tracking window, which is much more conducive to a single swipe across my 19" monitor. That it can be used wirelessly with an iPad is just a teaser for me right now, but a given for the rest of you, I know, and something I'm looking forward to thoroughly testing eventually.

But what I loved absolutely the mostmostmostest about it was the GESTURE GUIDE (ya gotta love that just for that) on the bottom of the box -- although I think they really missed a process improvement opportunity here by not attaching it as a decal to the underside of the trackpad itself.

While I'm sure all this info was available to me when I first got my Mac, who actually ever reads the How To Get Started guides? No, you don't either. You just plug and go. Of course you do. That's how these things work.

Which is true, for most things, but as I've come to be pleasantly surprised by over the years, that's really just not always true with Apple. There's always more. Always surprises. Always Easter Eggs. Just always always.

So if you, too, had only up to this point been using your trackpad to slide your middle finger from here to there and then click the spacebar with your thumb...you're really really reaaaaally gonna love this!

My favorite so far is a tie between the pinch and expand to shrink and grow your screen, and the double-finger page scroll. Soooo wonderfully quick and easy and handy.

Go now...explore. I'm all finger happy now and you should be, too.

THE KNOTTY TREE

2010-12-13T21:53:00.001-08:00

WHY BEING OUTED IS NOT THE SAME AS COMING OUT ON YOUR OWN TERMS

2010-10-11T08:38:00.000-07:00

I never really got a chance to come out.

I was outed.

I was a cheerleader, at the top of my class, played volleyball and basketball, competed in U.I.L., was in the band, the National Honor Society, and dating a quarterback (or two).

I loved school. Loved my little one-blinking-light hometown. Loved my family, despite all our faults. Struggled with my weight. Hated my skin. Could never find a hairstyle that suited me. And couldn't wait to go off to college.

I loved my friends. And had a few different circles. Sometimes we were catty. But mostly we were inseparable, and we drank way too much really bad beer at parties on the weekends.

Just. Like. Everyone. Else.

And then she kissed me. Or maybe I kissed her. I don't even remember anymore. The next few years after that are partially blurred, mostly blocked out, with some bright and shining moments of joy and adventure.

I was 15 at the time. She was a freshman.

Someday I'll write the whole story. But for today, it's about the coming out. Which, looking back now, was actually a very long, drawn out, painfully slow process. But for the purposes of this post, was the moment we heard our names over the loud speakers at school, being called to principal's office.

He had in his hands a copy of a notebook, our notebook, a little spiral-bound notebook in which we'd copied lyrics of songs for one another. Our names were on it, in swirls and doodles, most likely with hearts and rainbows and clouds encircling them. We were young. We were in love. It was the sweetest, cheesiest thing you can imagine.

And that was it. That was all it was. We weren't destroying religions. Or recruiting children. Or tearing down heterosexual marriages with our bare gay hands.

We were kids ourselves. And suddenly thrust into the spotlight.

The notebook had been stolen from one of our lockers and xeroxed. The sheets had been passed around the school for everyone to see. And although I'm certain it never happened, in my mind they were falling from the rafters, like snowflakes, all over the student body as they passed through the hallways. And although I'm sure it never happened, I can hear them all laughing and pointing, in slow motion, as they spin around me and I dizzy from the mortification.

Our families were called. Of course. They had to be warned. But I couldn't tell you what that conversation with my parents was like once we got home. That, too, is blocked out.

The rest of my high school career is now buried beneath alcohol binges and lies, sneaking and hiding, suppressing and repressing. Every single moment demanding I take a stand. Are you one of us? Or are with her? And I failed so miserably, so many times, on all sides. Failed my parents, failed my brother, failed my aunts and grandmothers. Failed my friends, failed acquaintances, failed my boyfriends, failed my teachers and coaches. Failed my girlfriend.

But mostly, I failed myself.

There was no one in my town that I felt I could turn to. No one like me. No one to tell me that it would get better. Hell, as far as I knew, no one had ever been openly gay before. Not in my town. Not anywhere near my town. Not ever. But some time after I found myself sitting in the hallway of the home I grew up in with my father's rifle at my side, things began to change. For me, first and foremost. And then, eventually, for everyone else. But, no, of course it never should've gotten to that point. And looking back now, it's easy to see how many things I could've done differently. But, then again, maybe not.

Because the point of this post is just this. It IS exactly like a band-aid. Because the wounds and scars and pain you cover up today just can not begin to heal until you pull it off. It needs to breathe fresh air. It needs to see the light of day. You're exactly who you were meant to be. You're the most perfect iteration of you. Ever. But until you allow yourself to be the best YOU that you can be, no one else around you gets the opportunity to prove that they can be the best they can be.

So, come on and say it. Out. Loud. You're stronger than you think you are. You have more support than you could ever imagine. And it's time.

Happy National Coming Out Day!

[crossposted at The Adventures of Saia & Chago]

THE LONG DARK FALL

2010-10-01T10:34:00.000-07:00

I love to be terrified. Love scary movies. Love wild rides. Love horror stories.

That cliffhanger ride, that one that takes you straight up and just drops you? That's the best-worst. Or the worst-best. I'm not exactly sure which.

But there's just something about that moment. As you hang, knowing what's coming next, the inevitable plummet, the terrific heartpounding drop as you race towards the ground, always knowing that there is the ever-present possibility that something could go wrong, that it could all be over in just. two. seconds.

And you begin to sweat a little, and you get that very nervous smile on your face. Maybe you get giddy. Maybe you start to tear up a little. Your heart is pounding so loudly, you can hear it in your ears. And you wonder for a second how likely it is that you could have a heart attack right here, right now, at this very moment. And you try to control it. Start talking to yourself in the most rational internal voice you can muster. You're gonna be fine. You were the one that wanted to do this, remember? And then you have that sick and sinking feeling that something's wrong. No, no, something's really wrong. I need to get off this ride now. This doesn't feel right. And then...

You drop.

And you scream, and you laugh at yourself screaming, and the tears dry immediately upon hitting your cheeks. And then it's over.

And, very likely, you'll line up to do it again. Or go skydiving next. Or bungee jumping.

But now imagine that feeling...times 1000...while you're standing on the railing in the middle of the George Washington Bridge...feeling like there's no hope left in the world for someone like you...and that this is the only possible way to stop the pain you feel all over right now.

And you're not there because you're hanging out with your friends on the weekend. And you're not there because you WANT to be scared, WANT to feel that rush of fright, WANT to taunt yourself with danger. You're there because one or more ignorant fucks in your life poked and prodded, pushed and shoved, picked and jabbed at you one too many times. And there's no telling what that number was. Maybe you've put up with it for years. Maybe it's only been a few weeks. Maybe this was the first time. But it was just enough. And whatever it was, it was excruciating. And there is no word in existence that could possibly describe the feeling, the moment, the second before...

you jump.

And it's over.

But there's no clapping and cheering and patting one another on the backs for this one. There's no laughing and getting back in line for the next ride. There's the river police, and the ambulance, and the coroner, and parents and siblings and family and friends screaming and crying. There's a funeral. And a burial. And an empty place in so many people's lives where you used to be.

And it's senseless. And it's asinine. And it's just beyond infuriating. How can we be so reckless with such gifts?
...

BACK TO BLACK

2010-09-14T23:59:00.000-07:00

It's starless tonight.
And I'm lost.
Directionless
and feeling like I'm suddenly upside down
inside a lava lamp.
Without a bulb.
Moving
like
molasses.
Like an oil spill.
Suffocating.
Drowning.
And blinded
by the dark.

You Can Catch More Flies with Miel than with Vinagre

2010-08-27T12:46:00.000-07:00

I started this post as a tweet, but quickly realized there was no way to contain this rant within 142 characters. So, I moved it over to Facebook, but don't really like for my readers to have to click "more...," so now here we are. Consider yourself warned.

I've already revised this at least 3 times, and realize that I'm totally overthinking it now. Not a shocker if you know me at all, I realize. My first draft was uber-emotional. All full of curse words and exclamation points, and every other sentence started with "and" or "but." Now, though, I've pulled back too much. For fear that I may be offending someone. But don't I always? And is there really any way not to? So, here it is. Rough and discombobulated. A little frantic with a little logic just for taste.

Robot planes on the border have now been approved. I lost count in the article of the billions -- BILLIONS!!! -- of US Government dollars (read: your tax dollars) that have gone into "securing" the US/Mexico border over the years.

And it's really not all that difficult not to wonder (in that idealistically unrealistic but altruistic way, yes) if ALL that money and effort and manpower and political power couldn't have been better spent actually HELPING our neighboring country and creating an environment in which sneaking across an imaginary line, risking life and limb, in order to either find a better way of life or improve their lives back home economically (sometimes legitimately, sometimes not) would just not be necessary.

Take two seconds. Imagine. The physical threat of injury, capture, deportation, incarceration, and even death are clearly not enough incentive to stop trying. Can you see it? That things in your life are so bad that the risk of death is worth it?

No, of course you can't.

And what does that tell us? As human beings, what does that say?

Don't we have a humanitarian obligation to empathize with others? And if not just anyone, then at least our neighbors?

How and why are we not working together with the Mexican government to create more of an international economic and social community? Why aren't there more efforts being made to make it (GASP!) easier for Mexicans to come over, obtain work visas, buy property, boost our economy, while at the same time making it easier for Americans to cross over, obtain work visas, buy property, boost their economy?

What we're doing is the equivalent of trying to protect a gated community that's butted up against a vacant lot. Instead of trying to keep people from crossing the fence into the greener yard, which, evidently, is one of the great flaws of the human race, why aren't we working together to turn the vacant lot into a shared community space, a middle ground, a common garden? They don't want OUR gated community, OUR green yard, OUR perfectly manicured little lives. They want their OWN.

They don't WANT to leave Mexico. They HAVE to. They don't want to leave their home, their culture, their family, their friends, their way of life. But they HAVE to. To survive. To provide for their families. To keep moving forward. Just like all the rest of us.

For the same reason you'll park your nice Lexus next to the nice Beemer in a parking lot after dark -- to equalize the threat -- to make it a 50-50 shot of who'll get vandalized -- to level the playing field, that's exactly why we have to put a stop to all of this. As long as we continue on this path, as long as we make these deliberate efforts to ensure that Mexico does not ever become an economically viable country, despite the fact that they have plenty of land, human resources, a highly educated population, and the obvious willingness to strive and survive and thrive, then we continue to hammer the nails into our own coffin.

It's always moved me to tears that Tejana authors so willing embrace with a bitter fondness that area, that 2,000-mile line, the borderlands, La Frontera. A place to cross-over, an area of land that's only ever enriched their own lives, an addition, a supplement, a love of two worlds, split in half, pulled by each, daughters of a brutal divorce.

But Americans only ever see crossing as slumming.

Is it because it's cheap, and cheap = dirty, lower quality, unworthy of respect, ok to trample? Is Mexico the Dollar Store of the Americas?

But because it's more expensive for us, as Americans, to travel into Canada, that makes them better???

Is it as simple as that?

Is it a white versus brown thing? Still? Really?

Or worse. Is it some sort of subconsciously implied socioeconomic hierarchy based solely on geography? That North = above = better. And, therefore, South = below = less than.

What if the poles switched? Would it make a difference then? Would we suddenly start to treat Canadians like pests to be dealt with, handled, gotten rid of? Would we look towards Mexico as the next great territory to conquer and claim? [Wait...let me go write that one down. That's gonna make a great disaster story.]

I've been dead-set against putting up a 50'-high fence along the border all this time, but you know what, at least that would be real. At least THAT would be honest. It would visually represent all the wheelings and dealings and manipulations and under-the-tables that are taking place now. It would show the world exactly who we are, that we really do think we're a superior breed. That we must not allow ourselves to be infected. At. All. Costs.

But no. They won't do it. Because eventually...eventually...those walls do come down. And we can't have that, can we? We can't have the rest of the world looking at us like we're China or East Berlin.

But the cost, the financial burden, the political divisiveness, the national dichotomy, the hundreds of thousands of human lives lost, only continues to rise, and widen, and swell. Like a disease. Like a starving child's distended belly.

Because the plain and simple fact of the matter is that IT'S. NOT. WORKING.

It's time for a new plan. It's time to reach across the border. It's time to open up our arms and BE the human your God expects you to be. We have to let go. We have to try something unheard of. We have to be fearless and compassionate all at once. We have to give of ourselves in order to find ourselves again. Home of the free and the brave.

There were no conditions on that, as far as I recall.

Come on, people. We've done enough with the vinegar. It's time to use honey.

...

Temo el Ojo

2010-08-24T13:06:00.000-07:00

The protective eye,
hanging in the hallway,
entombed in a salient aquamarine stone,
framed in a pewter circle,
dangling from 3 silver elephants,
en route to her kitchen.

Encased in a sun-yellow-red stone,
like a summer wasp,
set indelicately into a flea market charm bracelet,
coiled and serpentine in her daughter’s velour-lined jewelry box.

Bursting from within a gold-plated circle
the size of a wedding band,
surrounded by a gradient green stone,
like a freshly cut lime,
clinging to an ivory bookmark
gently saving her place in the book of Neruda poetry atop her bedside table.

A macabre collection,
like tiny milagros from the church in San Juan.
An arm.
A leg.

An eye.
A prayer.

The One with the True Love's Kiss

2010-08-16T21:58:00.000-07:00

[Playing 101-Word Stupor at my friend Jason's site. Today's words were brie, cadence, and metallic.]

Her breathing had slowed to a measured cadence. The baked brie oozed onto her plate in a rapturous puddle of rosemary and grapes. She swirled her syrah, plunged her nose into her glass, and immersed herself into the metallic twinges of clove and cardamon and pluot. She raised her eyes, flecked with gold and copper, and looked across the table at the cerulean pools staring back at her. A swift but audible sigh escaped her lips. And for just a moment she felt exactly like Sleeping Beauty. Suddenly awakened. Suddenly blinded by a beautiful bright light. Suddenly thrust back into life.

...

He Never Felt a Thing

2010-08-15T22:09:00.000-07:00

[Playing 101-Word Stupor at my friend Jason's site. Today's words are sweatshirt, vitriol, and cowboy.]

She sat in the lobby of the veterinarian’s office, her grey Stanford sweatshirt stained with blood and tufts of fur, trying to ignore the stench of reptile aquariums and bird cages, and trying not to cry. The receptionist, whose vitriol could clearly not be contained, reminded her, yet again, that there were tissues in the restroom. She rose to her feet, shuffling slowly towards the exit, thinking only of her poor Beaux, his big brown eyes, his silky coat, his cowboy charm. The assistant came out from the back with a ziploc baggie. The collar inside read: My family lost me.

...

Friday is for Foreplay

2010-08-14T22:19:00.000-07:00

[Playing 101-Word Stupor at my friend Jason's site. Today's words are aphrodisiac, scones, and linebacker.]

Saturday mornings are the aphrodisiac of Sunday.

Time slows down somehow between the hours of 5 and 9am. The sun rises later. The air stays crisper longer. The sheets and blankets are suddenly the perfect combination of coolness, softness, and weight. The comforting smell of warm nutty coffee and sweet blueberry scones wafts over the entire neighborhood.

And then come the buzzing sounds of lawnmowers and weedeaters wielded by bronzed linebackers that seduce the air with the aromatic flavors of fresh cut grass and fallen flowers, teasing and wooing all five senses at once.

But Sunday mornings. Nothing short of. Heaven.
...

Tiger from a Top Hat

2010-08-13T22:38:00.000-07:00

[Playing 101-Word Stupor over at my friend Jason's site. Today's words are: boisterous, abracadabra, golf.]

The view from the 18th hole of Half Moon Bay Golf Links is neither easily described nor easily forgotten. Standing tall amongst the cypress, hunched over and scraggly, like wise ancient women, beside the white tees, of course, driver in place, squinting against the sun so jealousy enveloped by the clouds. Surrounded, by sight and sound and smell, on the one side by nothing but water. Boisterous oceanic waves. Cliffs. Sky. Fog. And then…you swing. And it’s a magical moment. A moment that just hangs in utter silence. True suspension of disbelief. And it just disappears. The very definition of abracadabra.

...

Room to Breathe

2010-08-12T22:54:00.000-07:00

[Playing 101-Word Stupor at my friend Jason's site. Today's words were counterfeit, frog, and dirigible.]

She blew out the last of her air bubbles, sat flat at the bottom of the pool, and looked up at the glassy counterfeit sky ten feet above. The ripples across the water looked like dancing hula-hoops. Or else the 7 concentric circles of Hell. She wasn’t really sure. Her lungs began to tighten and burn. A yellowgreen frog float slowly sailed overhead casting an intimidating shadow on the pool floor like a German dirigible at twilight. She swallowed what breath remained. Her heartbeat pounding now behind her eyeballs. Trying desperately to drown out the muffled sounds of her mother’s screams.

...

You Shouldn't Be Parading Around Like That

2010-08-11T20:57:00.000-07:00

[Playing 101-Word Stupor over at my friend Jason's site. Today's keywords are: clarinet, wrestling, Eskimo.]

They sat on the curb, arm in arm. Pinky toes wrestling on the asphalt. The sun warmed their glistening summer skin like the sugar-toasted top on a perfect crème brulee. They could hear the music blaring. Just around the corner the crowd began to stand. They leaned in at exactly the same moment to take a bite of the Eskimo Pie. Their eyes met. Their foreheads bumped. The flag girls swept by, followed swiftly by the flutes and clarinets, humming and buzzing right into their moment. The world stopped spinning. The ice cream puddled at their feet. And then they kissed.

...

Optometryst

2010-08-10T09:08:00.000-07:00

[Playing 101-Word Stupor over at my friend Jason's site. Today's keywords are bagel, optometrist, and district.]

When I walked into her office, I should’ve known what to expect. But she came highly recommended by four friends who I would definitely let buy my lingerie in the dark. “I. M. URS, OPTOMETRIST,” read the goldleaf letters on the beveled glass door. I rolled my eyes, cursed my BFFs under my breath, shoved the bagel in my mouth, and gently squeezed the tacky brass handle. The room was heavily incensed, almost as much as I was, and if I wasn’t already positive that I was nowhere near the red light district, the pow-chicka-wow-wow décor almost certainly belied that truth.

...

Mocca-Chocolata-Yaya

2010-08-09T09:57:00.000-07:00

Voulez-vous coucher avec mois ce soi? wails Lady Marmalade, as the strobe lights flash in epileptic waves of hypnotic bumps and grinds. [What does it even mean?] She twirls and raises her hands towards the exposed ceiling pipes. [The speaking French, that’s totally hot.] She shimmies her shoulders and runs her hands through her hair. [And she obviously wants to do him.] She shakes her head to the potent rhythm as the fog oozes onto the floor. [But she’s a hooker.] The stranger behind her thrusting his hips into her as she instinctively pushes back. [What’s so sexy about that?]

[Come write your own 101-Word story over at friend Jason's blog. Today's words were marmalade, potent, hypnotic.]

...

Crouching Aesthetician, Hidden Dominatrix

2010-08-08T10:07:00.000-07:00

“What I do for you?” she yells, straddling her pedicure stool, pencil behind one ear, and up to her elbow in other people’s fungus.

“Oh, I just need a wax,” I said, kinda whispering that last word, which you only ever do when you’re not talking eyebrows.

“Your lip?” she yells back. All heads turn toward me.

“Well, no,” I respond, self-consciously raising my hand over my mouth. Heads volley back to her.

“Arms? Legs? Back?” she yells again, eyeing me up and down.

“No. No. And no, thanks.”

“Ooooh,” she says with a sadistic gleam in her eye. “Brazilian!!”

[Come write your own 101-Word story over at my friend Jason's blog. Today's words were Brazilian, pencil, and fungus.]

...

O-s-c-a-r M-a-y-e-r

2010-08-07T10:12:00.000-07:00

He stood before the bathroom mirror. His mother’s make-up lights glaring at him unflatteringly, making him squint and illuminating the craters mapping the topography of his adolescent face. The peach fuzz above his upper lip, which had begun to tremble slightly, glistened as the tiny beads of sweat pooled at the corners of his mouth. Abstain? he thought. He unbuttoned his jeans and slid his hand inside. I can’t even get her to look at me. He wiggled his fingers, searching, reaching. What’s wrong with me? And he pulled out the wad of rolled bologna and flung it onto the floor.

[Come write your story in 101-Words at my friend Jason's blog.]

...

Eats Shoots and Leaves for the Golden Coast

2010-08-06T10:16:00.000-07:00

Driving up El Camino Real through San Mateo County, you can’t help but notice an inordinate number of eucalyptus trees majestically lining the sides of the road. Their trunks stretching up through the soft, wet blanket of fog, branches reaching, leaves pleading, trying desperately to find their way back home. And you wonder, how the hell did you get here, in this place with no koalas without zoo parking? You with your fibrous shedding bark. Your fragrant healing oils that flow like ink and smell like rain. Australia is worlds away from California. Oooh, look, an In-and-Out, who wants a hamburger?

[Come and post your own 101-Word Stupor on my friend Jason's site. Today's words are ink, koala, and hamburger.]

...

Pretty Prancing Ponies

2010-08-05T10:19:00.000-07:00

When she asked me to dance, I immediately refused. My eyes shifted towards the floor. I stared at my gorgeous Manolos. Ooh, is that a scuffmark? I shuffled my feet. Admired my new pedicure. Then tossed my hair in that open invitation way that all girly-girls seem to know from birth…or three, when your locks are actually tossable. But when I looked up again, she was already walking away, making her way to the next pretty pony on the carousel. And they glided onto the dancefloor, circling the room in inebriated waves and swirls, like Chinatown umbrellas. And I couldn’t breathe.

[Come play the 101-Word Stupor with me at my friend Jason's site. Today's words were carousel, inebriated, and umbrella.]
...

August is Aware that it is Not September

2010-08-04T20:54:00.000-07:00

August is National Breastfeeding Awareness Month, which really has nothing to do with September, except that it happens to be the month prior. But August is also Cataract Awareness, Children’s Eye Health & Safety, Eye Injury Prevention, Immunization Awareness, Medic Alert, Pain Awareness, Psoriasis Awareness, and Spinal Muscular Atrophy Awareness Month. Who the hell knew? And does anyone really care? Because for 30 days we can all feign enough interest, gobble up the mass distribution of regurgitated info, and allow La Leche League to preach from their breast-vs-bottled milk soapbox, but then it’s another month. And what, exactly, was the point?

[Come play 101-Word Stupor at my friend Jason's site. Today's words were September, milk, and gobble.]

...

OUT GOES PALIN, IN COMES JINDAL

2009-02-25T12:11:00.000-08:00

But the new GOP-flavor-of-the-week doesn't seem to be sitting well with even the GOP!

Shocker.

LORD, PLEASE HELP US RID THE WORLD OF THIS ABOMINABLE FIDELITY!!

2009-02-23T12:17:00.000-08:00

So, Ken Starr (yes, THAT SAME Ken Starr) -- and the Prop 8 Legal Defense Fund -- filed legal briefs defending the constitutionality of Prop 8 and attempting to forcibly divorce 18,000 same-sex couples that were married in California last year?

Yes, seriously? Forcibly divorce!! WTF? Because the commitment and dedication and love that these marriages represent is just too much for them to bear (or perhaps live up to), I guess.

So now, the Supreme Court will hear oral arguments in this case on March 5, 2009, with a decision expected within the next 90 days.

The Courage Campaign has created a video called "Fidelity" to help give a face to the fight.

Over 1 million people have watched "Fidelity." The more people who see this video, the more people will understand the totally uncalled for and unnecessary pain and the complete waste of time and our and legal resources caused by Prop 8 and Ken Starr's shameful and wantonly litigious proceedings.

After you watch the video, please join me and over 300,000 people who have signed a letter to the state Supreme Court, asking them to invalidate Prop 8 and reject Starr's case. And, if you so choose, please forward this letter to others to ask for their support, too.

So, with the economy in the state it is, with the victims of Hurricanes's Rita and Katrina, and the various floods, and tornadoes, and the number of deaths by guns, and the kidnappings, and the child abuse cases, and the domestic abuse and random assaults, and hell, just the damn poverty that still exists in this country, THIS is what Ken Starr feels is the greatest threat to America.

Fucking pathetic.

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

Cross-posted at The Adventures of Saia & Chago

LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

2009-01-23T11:29:00.000-08:00

Please click on the link below to thank Mr. Obama for standing by what is right and doing what he said he would do with regards to GITMO.

Within 48 hours of taking office, President Obama took decisive action to close the prison at Guantánamo, end the military commissions and stop torture. This is an important first step toward ending this national shame and restoring America's moral leadership in the world.

Show him your support as he begins to dismantle the Bush system of injustice. Go to www.aclu.org/thankobama to show your support and to encourage the Administration to stay on track.

THE ERADICATION OF HATE

2009-01-20T12:54:00.000-08:00

Alrighty, Mr. President, game on:

Excerpted from the NEW AND MUCH IMPROVED Whitehouse.gov webpage.

Support for the LGBT Community

"While we have come a long way since the Stonewall riots in 1969, we still have a lot of work to do. Too often, the issue of LGBT rights is exploited by those seeking to divide us. But at its core, this issue is about who we are as Americans. It's about whether this nation is going to live up to its founding promise of equality by treating all its citizens with dignity and respect."
-- Barack Obama, June 1, 2007

Expand Hate Crimes Statutes: In 2004, crimes against LGBT Americans constituted the third-highest category of hate crime reported and made up more than 15 percent of such crimes. President Obama cosponsored legislation that would expand federal jurisdiction to include violent hate crimes perpetrated because of race, color, religion, national origin, sexual orientation, gender identity, or physical disability. As a state senator, President Obama passed tough legislation that made hate crimes and conspiracy to commit them against the law.

Fight Workplace Discrimination: President Obama supports the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, and believes that our anti-discrimination employment laws should be expanded to include sexual orientation and gender identity. While an increasing number of employers have extended benefits to their employees' domestic partners, discrimination based on sexual orientation in the workplace occurs with no federal legal remedy. The President also sponsored legislation in the Illinois State Senate that would ban employment discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation.

Support Full Civil Unions and Federal Rights for LGBT Couples: President Obama supports full civil unions that give same-sex couples legal rights and privileges equal to those of married couples. Obama also believes we need to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act and enact legislation that would ensure that the 1,100+ federal legal rights and benefits currently provided on the basis of marital status are extended to same-sex couples in civil unions and other legally-recognized unions. These rights and benefits include the right to assist a loved one in times of emergency, the right to equal health insurance and other employment benefits, and property rights.

Oppose a Constitutional Ban on Same-Sex Marriage: President Obama voted against the Federal Marriage Amendment in 2006 which would have defined marriage as between a man and a woman and prevented judicial extension of marriage-like rights to same-sex or other unmarried couples.

Repeal Don't Ask-Don't Tell: President Obama agrees with former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff John Shalikashvili and other military experts that we need to repeal the "don't ask, don't tell" policy. The key test for military service should be patriotism, a sense of duty, and a willingness to serve. Discrimination should be prohibited. The U.S. government has spent millions of dollars replacing troops kicked out of the military because of their sexual orientation. Additionally, more than 300 language experts have been fired under this policy, including more than 50 who are fluent in Arabic. The President will work with military leaders to repeal the current policy and ensure it helps accomplish our national defense goals.

Expand Adoption Rights: President Obama believes that we must ensure adoption rights for all couples and individuals, regardless of their sexual orientation. He thinks that a child will benefit from a healthy and loving home, whether the parents are gay or not.

And yes, tt's a tall order, but one that's long overdue and, for the first time, actually on the table.

So, let's just call it a good start for now as we remain cautiously optimistic for the future.

Welcome to a brand new day.

Cross-posted at The Adventures of Saia & Chago.

NATIONAL DAY WITHOUT A GAY!

2008-12-10T11:21:00.000-08:00

DID YOU CALL IN GAY (OR GAY FRIENDLY) TODAY?

The Day Without a Gay mission statement reads:

"Gays, lesbians, and straight allies plan to call in “gay” to volunteer within their local LGBT communities on December 10, 2008 to protest passage of anti-gay constitutional amendments in Arizona, Florida, and California. Wherever possible, gay Americans and allies plan to volunteer for local gay and civil rights organizations across the country through a brand new national database at www.daywithoutagay.wetpaint.org.

Every day since Election Day, thousands have protested up and down streets in cities across California, including in Los Angeles, San Diego, San Francisco and Sacramento. A national, grassroots coalition of LGBT activists have followed in their footsteps. Now gay citizens and their allies are teaming up to show America and the world the compassion, the love, and the posititve spirit of the gay community through service.

On December 10, 2008 the gay community will take a historic stance against hatred by donating their time to a variety of different causes in order to raise public awareness of the need for LGBT equality in marriage and in other civil rights."

Personally, I'm still working through where I stand on the use and abuse of marriage as a general societal institution, but the fact that we're being discriminated against from a legal standpoint based on personal biases is just wrong, and for that I will stand up.

I really don't know what kind of impact this is actually going to have -- or how anybody could possibly even measure it. I don't particularly like the idea of protesting for the sake of protesting, and personally feel that this effort wasn't thought through all that well nor organized very effectively, which is likely how Prop 8 got passed in the first place.

But here it is just the same.

Stay home today if you can and try not to circulate any money.

We do deserve the same basic rights as everyone else. And that alone is worth joining the effort.

MOURNING HAS BROKEN

2008-06-18T09:59:00.000-07:00

In severe mourning over Hillary's loss. Not quite ready to embrace the great black hope. I know he's a good guy. I know he's smart, carries himself well, and has so much potential. But he's not ready. And he's inexperienced. And it was her time.

And, honestly, when it comes to a battle of spouses, I'll take Bill over Michelle any day and twice on Sunday.

But I do know that I need to come around. And I know we need to throw our collective weight in his direction. And I'll be there. I will. I'm just not there today.

ELLEN ON A RECENT HATE CRIME

2008-03-04T12:58:00.000-08:00

Pulled this from Mombian's website. It really struck such a chord with me. I was almost in tears. And I'm scared, so deathly scared, that we're going to make another wrong choice for the White House, and that this sort of nefarious behavior will be allowed to continue.

What I do wish is that Ellen would continue to speak out like this. It doesn't have to be every day. I get that she doesn't want to turn her show into a gay political pulpit. But she has a responsibility to us all -- to speak for us, to speak for Larry -- before it's too late.

THIS ONE'S FOR ANN!!!

2008-03-03T09:04:00.000-08:00

Come on, Texas! You can do this!!!

www.hillaryclinton.com

MATCH.COM FOR THE POLITICAL WHORE IN ALL OF US

2008-01-18T20:44:00.000-08:00

Your Web browser software doesn't support frames, but you can visit Select A Candidate™ at www.selectacandidate.org.

Thanks for the link, Aunt Annie!

THE PERFECT LIBERAL STORM

2008-01-18T20:29:00.000-08:00

Okay, I'm in literary love with this guy, this Mark Morford from the SF Chronicle.

Here are some snippets from a recent article entitled, "The woman vs. the black guy." But don't shortchange yourself. Read the whole article HERE.

Right now, the various spurts of venom aimed at Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama from conservative pundits and politicos are, at best, scattershot and convulsive, with only MSNBC's Chris Matthews proving himself to be a consistent blowhard jackass in his relentless slamming of Hillary by claiming that she only made it this far due to adultery-survivor sympathy. Hey, Chris? 2001 called. It wants its puerile, sexist analysis back.

Nice, huh? No, wait, how do like this one?

I'm sorry, did you somehow miss the last seven years of brutal, testosterone-drunk war-sucking macho neocon hell? Did your noise-canceling headphones somehow block out the sound of those 10,000 tiny, clashing penises, banging like Satan's own baby rattle all the way from Osama's cave to the Oval Office to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's gay fetish dungeon in downtown Tehran?

Isn't that just perfection??? "10,000 tiny, clashing penises." It should be the name of a band.

Okay, one more and then you're just gonna have to go get the rest for yourselves.

Much in the same way Bush whored Sept. 11 to drag the nation to its lowest emotional, fiscal and political point in 100 years, so could the new wave of enraged, inspired voters leverage the Bush nightmare itself to bounce us as far as possible in the other direction. Hell, it could be even weirder than that: Hillary or Obama wins the nomination, chooses the other as running mate. Talk about your perfect liberal storm.

You said it, brother!!!

Read the article in its entirety at sfgate.com.

THIS IS NOT ANOTHER POST ABOUT BRITNEY!

2007-10-24T11:22:00.000-07:00

So, here's my two cents...

Neither marriage nor the divorce rate is what's wrong with this country. Neither people's commitment to something that isn't really working nor their early bailing out of something that could potentially work is what's wrong with this country. Neither unions deemed blessed by God nor sworn to in an open field of flowers with or without someone or multiple someones of the same or opposite or mixed sex is what's wrong with this country. Neither the desire to have children nor the decision to abort pregnancies is what's wrong with this country. Neither the support for nor the rejection of higher taxes, or gay rights, or the war, or education is what's wrong with this country. Neither the vast disparity between the poor and the filthy rich or between the salaries of men and women is what's wrong with this country. Neither the overpopulation nor the oppressive and unambiguous xenophobia is what's wrong with this country. Neither the over abundance of information because of the internet nor the over exposure of our personal identities due to the internet is what's wrong with this country. Neither a person's nor an entire people's choice not to believe in a higher power nor their individual or collective belief in one god or many or variations on a theme is what's wrong with this country.

What's wrong with this country is that we're selfish.

We've become a progressively self-absorbed, self-centered, and egocentric society. And if we weren't so completely egotistical, and we tried -- for even one day -- to work from the outside in, to actually think first about how our words and actions might affect someone else, to really communicate concerns and ambiguities instead of assuming or judging, to listen first, and then to listen again but try to actually hear this time, to solicit and heed the advice of elders, to allow others to see and recognize and empathize and help with our own sticky situations instead of hiding from the truth and putting on fronts and pretending to be things or people or couples or ideals that we're not, then it wouldn't matter at all which, if any, of the above situations we found ourselves in, would it? We'd be able to navigate it just fine because we wouldn't ever have to feel, even for a moment, isolated, abandoned, or alone -- and we'd be able to make decisions based on the well being of everyone involved because everyone else would be making decisions based on that same logic, and, if that were true, then wouldn't we be able to push through issues, any issue, without damaging our emotional, psychological, and/or physical states in the process -- obviating the need for therapy, mental institutions, battered women's shelters, identity theft precautions, witness protections programs, home security alarms, small claims courts, attorneys in general, FEMA, government assistance, the foster care system, homeless shelters, student loans, public housing, humane societies...

I mean, really, can someone please tell why someone, ANYONE, has not stepped in to help Britney? That girl is publically drowning, and we're all just sitting around and watching it happen. She's a microcosm of Katrina, and, for that matter, of our own country. We all saw it coming. It was only a matter of time. And, what's worse, is that it was completely preventable.

What this country needs is a fucking intervention!

Okay, I think I past my two cents like $10 ago.

These bad and terrible things...

2007-09-15T01:02:00.000-07:00

I wish so many bad and terrible things. I wish I could scratch out my own eyes, shred the memory, the horridly vivid picture of you holding her at dinner, kissing her at the bar, caressing her in our own home, on our sofa, in front of me.

I wish the impossible. I wish for unspeakable acts of retribution. I wish for things I can’t even define. At your hand. At my own. To you. To her. I wish for endings, ceaselessly beg for endings. Hoping beyond what logic and reason might feebly offer for the penultimate act of pure unadulterated vengeance.

I ache to be righted in a way I knew, I swore, I would never ever have to feel. I hate from places so deep within me that the inner lining of my veins are forever seared and scathed. So I’m now rotting…from the inside out. And the stench of my own ire is revolting and suffocating. The me I once was has no place among the putrid pile of deceit and lies and inexcusable acts of self-preservation and, worse, the cowardly indifference.

I wish the stuff of nightmares, the things you don’t dare utter aloud for fear, sheer dread, that in doing so you’ve somehow breathed life into them. But I do. I do wish for accidents and natural disasters. Any random act of violence that might lessen the pain. For you. For me.

I wish, in all it’s triteness, for death. And I can’t, no, because I can’t, erase the things I’ve heard, read, done, said, felt, seen, known, believed, or trusted. I replay every word, every picture, over and over, in slow motion and with subtitles – hoping, reaching, grasping – maybe I just misunderstood. Maybe I got lost in the translation. Maybe it didn’t really happen the way I remember, the way I see it when I close my eyes, when I wake in the morning, when I breathe in and out, in and out, in and out. And maybe if I can just find the start, the reason, the place it all went wrong. Maybe I can go back and fix it; right the wrongs; save us both. We shall be redeemed. And then maybe the guilt will stop strangling me in the middle of the night. And maybe the anger will stop infecting what’s left of my humanity. And maybe the neverending moments of terror and sorrow will finally begin to relinquish their hold on the pathetic excuse for the me that I’ve become.

Or maybe I’ll just go on… wishing these bad and terrible things. And maybe that’s all that’s left.

©2007 Jo Anna Guerra

Today, I'm participating in The Scheherazade Project. The theme this month is "Things we don't allow ourselves to want." Thanks, Assclown, for the gentle shove.

IF HE ONLY HAD A BRAIN...

2007-08-13T11:21:00.000-07:00

As we all bid a fond farewell to Karl Rove, affectionately known as "Bush's Brain" and "Boy Genius" by Dubya himself -- an oxymoron, a malapropism, or at the very least, two totally backhanded compliments -- we really must take a moment to revel in the long overdue exodus of repugs from the White House since the Dems won control over Congress in November.

Rove can now proudly add his name to those A-listers, which include, among others, White House counselor Dan Bartlett, budget director Rob Portman, chief White House attorney Harriet Miers, political director Sara Taylor, deputy national security adviser J.D. Crouch and Meghan O'Sullivan, another deputy national security adviser who worked on Iraq. And let's not forget how Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld was finally expunged immediately after the election as his oh-so-unpopular war in Iraq continues to degrade the value of human life.

Happy trails, all. But mostly, it's just good riddance.

Factual info and photo taken from AP article: Rove to Leave the White House on Aug. 31

Congress needs to hold Cheney accountable

2007-07-03T15:46:00.000-07:00

Did you see the news? President Bush let Scooter Libby, the one man who was convicted for the lies around the Iraq war, go free.

And the obstruction of justice doesn't stop there. The Senate recently subpoenaed documents from the Vice President's office around the illegal wiretapping program and so far he has not complied.

It's clear this administration thinks it's above the law. That's un-American, and I think it's time for Congress to hold them accountable. I just signed a petition urging Congress to force Vice President Cheney to respond to its subpoenas. If he doesn't, Congress has to begin impeachment proceedings against him.

Join me by clicking here.

Thanks!

From MoveOn.org

PLEDGE TO SEE A SICKO!!!

2007-07-02T15:55:00.000-07:00

Pledge here to see Michael Moore's SICKO this week!!!

Click here to watch a message from Michael Moore.

IT'S TIME TO END THIS WAR

2007-02-13T17:24:00.000-08:00

Today the U.S. House will begin debate on Iraq. This provides anti-war forces an opportunity to let our voices be heard. Please call your Congressmember and tell them to end the Occupation of Iraq and stop funding this war.

All calls are being directed through the Capitol switchboard – (202)224-3121.

When you place the call, ask for your senators' and/or representative's office. Telephone calls are usually taken by a staff member, not the member of Congress. Ask to speak with the aide responsible for Iraq War issues. After identifying yourself, politely tell the aide you would like to leave a brief message, such as: "Please tell Senator/Representative (Name) to stop funding the war: Vote no on supplemental appropriations. Don't escalate the war into Iran." You won’t have much time, but you may also want to briefly state reasons for your opposition to the war. Remember to ask for your senators' or representative's position on the war, and perhaps request a written response to your telephone call.

Please then take a moment to email your representative (and Speaker Pelosi, too) and ask them to support HR508, The Bring the Troops Home and Iraq Sovereignty Restoration Act, and HR746, The Safe and Orderly Withdrawal from Iraq Act.

It's time to end this war.

Excerpted from a PDA email. Progressive Democrats of America is a grassroots PAC that works both inside the Democratic Party and outside in movements for peace and justice. For more information, visit pdamerica.org.

HAPPY, HAPPY, JOY, JOY!!!!!

2006-11-08T13:38:00.000-08:00

Between Blogger being down all morning and attending back-to-back meetings for my real job, I've just been bursting at the seams!!!

I don't even know where to begin. I'm stumbling over myself here. Not only are the Democrats in charge of the House, but we may have the first ever female Speaker of the House, AND we may be able to pull off the majority in the Senate races, too, which would mean an entirely Democratic Congress (which, yes, on some level is also very very scary), but which will be much fodder for this blog in these last two years of Bush's demise.

Some really big wins came out of this election, too! Really, really big wins. South Dakota actually defeated the abortion ban. It would have been the first of its kind, a significant blow to Roe, and a definite shift in the tide, but the voters actually turned out. They actually turned out and said NO!!

Arizona voters (despite harassing Latinos at the polls) very clearly struck down a gay marriage ban. Yay!!

And even Missouri voted to allow stem cell research. MISSOURI!!!!

The times they are a'changing, folks. And I'm walking on cloud 9 today.

HAPPY, HAPPY, JOY, JOY!!!

GET THEE TO THE POLLS, PEOPLE!!! OR SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY!!!

2006-11-07T10:06:00.000-08:00

As if you needed another reason to get off your ass and vote today!!!

http://harrisvideo.cf.huffingtonpost.com/

STICK TO THE SCRIPT, JOHN!!!

2006-11-01T13:22:00.000-08:00

Kerry’s prepared vs. actual statement...

What Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., said about Iraq: “You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.”
What his spokesperson, Amy Brundage, said Kerry’s prepared text called for him to say: “Do you know where you end up if you don’t study, if you aren’t smart, if you’re intellectually lazy? You end up getting us stuck in a war in Iraq. Just ask President Bush.”

Hmmph. That woulda been kinda funny.

Courtesy of MSNBC.com

THE SCARIEST STORY EVER TOLD

2006-10-31T10:33:00.000-08:00

Our government is being controlled by money-hungry, socially-challenged, racist, bigoted, homophobic, sexist, hypocritical, war-mongering extremists.

BOO!

FCKY FCKER F*CKERTON

2006-10-27T14:09:00.000-07:00

Well, he's gone and dun it now, folks! He's officially become the little wooden boy of the GOP.

Caricature by John Brown at News from Babylon

Our poor pathetic excuse for a leader has signed into law a bill authorizing the construction of 700 miles of fencing on the border between the U.S. and Mexico.

And after all his soapboxing this past year on guest worker programs, too. Such a shame. [tsk, tsk] And so unfortunate that it's during an election year.

I wonder what could have changed his mind?

And such a strange coincidence, I know, what with the Republican Party at such a high risk of losing Congress and all.

Courtesy NewsCopy NewYork

Oh, well, the Great Wall of America should fix everything.

Unless otherwise noted, all photos are courtesy of AP.

NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, NO SERVICE (IF ONLY IT WERE THAT SIMPLE)

2006-10-24T16:12:00.000-07:00

People are so, so sad. And a little scary. And so unbelievably warped.

Melissa McEwan, a regular blogger at Shakespeare's Sister, recently posted an article on AlterNet about two seemingly disparate incidences linked by one common thread -- hatred (isn't it always, though?):

Steve M. at No More Mister Nice Blog takes a look at two recent news stories about discrimination against members of the LGBT community. In the first, a transgendered woman in Minneapolis is having a hard time getting a taxi, because Muslim drivers are refusing her business based on her being transgendered. In the second, a gay couple was refused service by a landscaping company, because they "choose not to work for homosexuals."
Steve's noticed a curious disparity in conservatives' reactions to the two stories.
All sorts of right-wingers -- Daniel Pipes, the folks at Free Republic, the folks at Little Green Footballs -- came to the transgendered person's defense. But when the gay couple spread the word to friends and acquaintances about the Garden Guy and recommended taking gardening business elsewhere (and some people suggested it might be illegal discrimination), why, right-wingers were incensed!
...So, if Allah tells Muslim cabbies that transgendered people are icky, that's bad. But if Jesus tells the Garden Guy that two gay homeowners are icky, that's wonderful. And even telling gay friends that the Garden Guy hates their sex life is jackbooted thuggery and makes the Baby Jesus cry.
Do I have it figured out now?
Pretty much.

And for my part, I'm sitting here thinking, what the hell was a gay couple doing trying to hire a straight gardner in the first place?

THE BLOGOSPHERE'S ALL ABUZZ WITH THE BIG LIE

2006-10-23T13:29:00.000-07:00

"But which big lie?" you ask, justifiably confused by such an irresponsible generalization when the superfluity of falsehoods and fabrications have so obviously begun to muddle up the windows of the glass tower that it would be like looking for a needle in a haystack at this point.

So, allow me clarify. THE lie of the week is this one: THE STAY-THE-COURSE LIE (watch the video), in which our dear shrub not only backpeddles like a clown with two broken ankles, but then pathetically cocks his head like a puppy in yet another lame-ass attempt to garner sympathy or pity or a nice meaty treat.

In a nutshell:

STEPHANOPOULOS: James Baker says that he’s looking for something between “cut and run” and “stay the course.”

BUSH: Well, hey, listen, we’ve never been “stay the course,” George. We have been — we will complete the mission, we will do our job, and help achieve the goal, but we’re constantly adjusting to tactics. Constantly.

Hmmm...so "we've never been stay the course," huh? But ThinkProgress did just a little mild investigating to (lo and behold!) uncover a few shiny trinkets that apparently only Georgie-boy didn't remember ever saying:

BUSH: We will stay the course. [8/30/06]

BUSH: We will stay the course, we will complete the job in Iraq. [8/4/05]

BUSH: We will stay the course until the job is done, Steve. And the temptation is to try to get the President or somebody to put a timetable on the definition of getting the job done. We’re just going to stay the course. [12/15/03]

BUSH: And my message today to those in Iraq is: We’ll stay the course. [4/13/04]

BUSH: And that’s why we’re going to stay the course in Iraq. And that’s why when we say something in Iraq, we’re going to do it. [4/16/04]

BUSH: And so we’ve got tough action in Iraq. But we will stay the course. [4/5/04]

Oh, that any of this really mattered.

Hat tip, Shakes.

AMERICA IS BETTER THAN THIS!

2006-09-27T12:20:00.000-07:00

So, in the Senate today is a bill that, if passed, will be the final blow by the tyrranical administration before the shrub slithers back to Crawford and the rest of his me-too cabinet burst into flames.

Ignoring human rights, constutional freedoms, and the law itself in most cases, the bill is being pushed hard by right-wingers in order to have something to brag about on the campaign trail this weekend besides how many more Iraqis have been blown to bits to date. And what are the yellow-bellied Dems doing about it? Eh...not so much.

Atop the shit list of horrific editions are:

the establishment of a court system to prosecute terror suspects, after the Supreme Court had ruled in June that Bush needed Congress' blessing to do so
the allowance of some trial evidence not usually allowed in regular U.S. courts -- e.g., hearsay evidence would be permitted, as long as a judge finds it to be reliable. Coerced testimony would be allowed in narrow circumstances - generally if a judge finds it reliable and the statement was taken before a 2005 ban on cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment.
extensive definitions of war crimes such as torture, rape and biological experiments -- provisions intended to protect CIA interrogators from being prosecuted for war crimes when handling terror suspects
the addition of language that says the president can "interpret the meaning and application" of the Geneva Convention 1949 treaty, which means that although he would not be allowed to authorize interrogation techniques that would violate prohibited war crimes, he would be allowed to decide whether interrogation techniques are within bounds.

Me? I'm a little flabbergasted. Befuddled. And, quite frankly, becoming more incensed by the minute.

Balkinization sums it up perfectly with:

If the Democrats do not stand up to the President on this bill, if they refuse to filibuster it or even threaten to filibuster it, they do not deserve to win any additional seats in the House or in the Senate. They will have delivered a grievous blow to our system of checks and balances, stained America's reputation around the world, and allowed an obscenity to disfigure the American system of law and justice. Far worse than a misguided zealot is the moral coward who says nothing and allows that zealotry to do real harm.

Amen, brother!!

And here's a little video clip of John Aravosis of AmericaBlog trying to debate some wingnut on CNN over the fact that there's no such thing as allowable torture any more than you can be a little pregnant!!!

In the words of Aravosis, "AMERICA IS BETTER THAN THIS!!!!"

Editions courtesy of WaPo article.
Hat tip to Shakes for the update.

SHE WAS MESQUITE TREES, BARBED WIRE AND A PRICKLY PEAR IN THE MIDDLE OF A DUSTY TEXAS PASTURE

2006-09-25T09:12:00.001-07:00

Called on the carpet this morning (and rightfully so) by my friend Lisa from San Antonio for not paying my proper respects to former Texas Governor Ann Richards, who passed away on Sept. 13th from esophageal cancer, I've decided to devote (better late than never) this post to her today.

Ann Richards on How to Be a Good Republican:

You have to believe that the nation's current 8-year prosperity was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but yesterday's gasoline prices are all Clinton's fault.
You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.
You have to be against all government programs, but expect Social Security checks on time.
You have to believe that AIDS victims deserve their disease, but smokers with lung cancer and overweight individuals with heart disease don't deserve theirs.
You have to appreciate the power rush that comes with sporting a gun.
You have to believe...everything Rush Limbaugh says.
You have to believe that the agricultural, restaurant, housing and hotel industries can survive without immigrant labor.
You have to believe God hates homosexuality, but loves the death penalty.
You have to believe society is color-blind and growing up black in America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but you still won't vote for Alan Keyes.
You have to believe that pollution is OK as long as it makes a profit.
You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.
You have to believe Newt Gingrich and Henry Hyde were really faithful husbands.
You have to believe speaking a few Spanish phrases makes you instantly popular in the barrio.
You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.
You have to be against government interference in business, until your oil company, corporation or Savings and Loan is about to go broke and you beg for a government bail out.
You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your hatred for AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.
You have to believe government has nothing to do with providing police protection, national defense, and building roads.
You have to believe a poor, minority student with a disciplinary history and failing grades will be admitted into an elite private school with a $1,000 voucher.

But I think she can best be summed up by her insightful analysis of the Republican Party, the Bush Empire, the Red States Majority, and the Bible Beaters (oh, I'm just repeating myself, aren't I?) when she said:

"You can put lipstick and earrings on a hog and call it Monique,
but it's still a pig."

We love you, Ann. The world was a better place with you in it, and it just breaks my heart to imagine how great this country could've been with you in the Oval Office.

Read more about Ann from the Texas State Library.
Title quote is paraphrased from Joe Holley's Washington Post piece.

DOY! WHICH WAY DID THEY GO? WHICH WAY DID THEY GO?

2006-09-22T09:53:00.000-07:00

1,100 laptops missing from the Commerce Department. And many of those from the Census Bureau. You know, the guys that maintain ALL YOUR PERSONAL AND PRIVATE INFORMATION, INCLUDING YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER AND LAST KNOW ADDRESS!!!!!

ELEVEN HUNDRED, people!!!! Missing. Poof! Ala David Blaine.

"The amount of missing computers is high, but fortunately, the vulnerability for data misuse is low."

Oh, okay. I feel all better now, Sherlock.

Look, I'm by no means some high-tech geek or anything, but what the hell are these people doing storing this information on their laptops? Do we not have at least one secure government (try to ignore the oxymoron) server onto which all this highly privileged information can be loaded? Is there no policy, no auditing, no formal regulation against retention of these records on movable, easily lost, misplaced and stolen devices? And since this has been happening consistently since 2001 (for crissakes!!!), shouldn't the government perhaps consider, at a minimum, returning to...hmm...DESKTOP computers?

I GUESS SIZE DOES MATTER

2006-09-13T09:55:00.000-07:00

Poor Pluto has been unceremoniously demoted to asteroid number 134340, and I'm just so completely bummed about this whole thing. I mean, I know it's a more accurate scientific reflection of its place in the universe and all, but I still remember the aluminum foil solar system I made in 5th grade with a light bulb in the middle for the sun. It was one of the few things my father and I actually did together. And no, the dissolution of Pluto as a planet doesn't erase those memories, but it's one less ball of aluminum I'll be crumbling and painting with my kids, I guess. It's just a little sad. I feel a very strange sense of loss. And a little more claustrophobic, I think. As if someone just rented out the attic of your childhood home to a complete stranger.

CAN I JUST ASK...

2006-08-29T17:03:00.000-07:00

WHERE THE F*CK ARE ALL THE LIVE-AID, FARM-AID, SAVE-YOUR-FAVORITE CHARITY CONCERTS WHEN WE'VE GOT PEOPLE IN NEW ORLEANS STILL LIVING IN DEPLORABLE CONDITIONS AND TONS MORE WHO CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO THINK ABOUT RETURNING HOME???*

ONE U2 CONCERT, ONE MADONNA CONCERT, ONE KANYE WEST CONCERT, AND ONE TOBY KEITH CONCERT ALONE COULD BRING IN ENOUGH MONEY TO REBUILD THE ENTIRE CITY AND THENSOME!!!

GET UP, GET OUT, AND GET THEE TO N'AWLINS!!!!

*Anyone aware of an email campaign that's already begun?

THEY'RE LIKE FUCKING LIZARD TAILS

2006-08-21T09:17:00.000-07:00

I swear these imbeciles just keep regenerating.

Just when Buchanan finally decided to take a breath, around the corner came Limbaugh, then up through the cracks clambered Pat Robertson, then in oozed Matthews, and now the iniquitous O'Reilly. Is there seriously no end to the depth and breadth of their ignorant disgorge?

On (surprise, surprise) Fox News, host and resident moron Bill O'Reilly wondered whether children of legal and illegal immigrants from Mexico who are attending school in the United States "have any kind of traditional value system at all, vis-à-vis what America used to be," or whether they are "taking their Mexican values, because most of them are Mexicans, and, you know, basically setting up Acapulco North."

Yes, you read that right. And just in case you feel the need to subject yourself to live audio of this flith, click play below. Feel free to heave, gag, or retch at needed.

THOSE WASCALLY WABBITS

2006-08-14T15:29:00.000-07:00

Well, apparently it was all for nought. Bushie's approval rating didn't improve by even a tenth of a point after all the hubbub in the UK.

Foiled again, Shrubster!

Looks like you're gonna have to do something even more revolting to get back in ~~the press's~~ ~~the bible belt's~~ ~~white middle-class~~ America's good graces. (I hear Cuba's ripe for the taking.)

MAYBE NO ONE'LL NOTICE...

2006-08-09T09:09:00.000-07:00

Yeah, okay, sneaky sneakerton. I'm sure NO ONE will pay one little iota of attention to the fact that you're trying to change the War Crimes Act so that you and your buds can get off scot-free.

And if I committed a homicide today, but tomorrow the law was miraculously changed making homicides legal, I would STILL be held accountable for the crime I committed under the law that was in existence at the time of the offense.

Imbecile!

But here's the meat of The Washington Post article:

[...]

The draft U.S. amendments to the War Crimes Act would narrow the scope of potential criminal prosecutions to 10 specific categories of illegal acts against detainees during a war, including torture, murder, rape and hostage-taking.

Left off the list would be what the Geneva Conventions refer to as "outrages upon [the] personal dignity" of a prisoner and deliberately humiliating acts -- such as the forced nakedness, use of dog leashes and wearing of women's underwear seen at the U.S.-run Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq -- that fall short of torture.

[...]

Common Article 3 is considered the universal minimum standard of treatment for civilian detainees in wartime. It requires that they be treated humanely and bars "violence to life and person," including murder, mutilation, cruel treatment and torture. It further prohibits "outrages upon personal dignity" such as "humiliating and degrading treatment." And it prohibits sentencing or execution by courts that fail to provide "all the judicial guarantees . . . recognized as indispensable by civilized peoples."

The risk of possible prosecution of officials, CIA officers and former service personnel over alleged rough treatment of prisoners arises because the Bush administration, from January 2002 until June, maintained that the Geneva Conventions' protections did not apply to prisoners captured in Afghanistan.

As a result, the government authorized interrogations using methods that U.S. military lawyers have testified were in violation of Common Article 3; it also created a system of military courts not specifically authorized by Congress, which denied defendants many routine due process rights.

The Supreme Court decided in Hamdan v. Rumsfeld on June 29, however, that the administration's policy of not honoring the Geneva Conventions was illegal, and that prisoners in the fight against al-Qaeda are entitled to such protections.

[...]

And in a brilliant summation...

Retired Rear Adm. John D. Hutson, the Navy's top uniformed lawyer from 1997 to 2000 and now dean of the Franklin Pierce Law Center, said his view is "don't trust the motives of any lawyer who changes a statutory provision that is short, clear, and to the point and replaces it with something that is much longer, more complicated, and includes exceptions within exceptions."

'nuf said.

AH...SO THIS IS BLISS...

2006-08-08T17:05:00.000-07:00

Watch Bush & Lieberman's
Faaaaaabulous Wedding
(courtesy of The Huffington Post)

I KNOW IT'S NOT NICE TO SPEAK ILL OF THE DEAD

2006-07-05T13:30:00.000-07:00

But I can't be the only one getting the eerie feeling that Kenneth Lay is actually on a private island in the South Pacific somewhere.

NOT THE TIDE, BUT AT LEAST A WAVE

2006-06-29T22:40:00.000-07:00

In an almost unbelievable stand for justice these days, the Supreme Court voted 5-3 today (with Roberts recusing himself to wash his hair or something) that the commissions established by the current Administration to ~~torture~~ interrogate suspected "enemy combatants" at Gitmo under the guise of national defense are both illegal and violative of the Geneva conventions.

Unfortunately, it doesn't mean that the shrub's got to don an orange jumper just yet, but it is only June.

harlot

2006-06-28T13:49:00.000-07:00

Today I'm participating in The Scheherazade Project.

“This is my absolute favorite part of my commute,” she whispered.

And the road curved and arched
like the small of a
woman’s back,
beguiling and persuasive.

It purged itself from the valley up into a sultry

patch of cedar woods, cool from the shade but moist from the day’s heat.

The path cut right through the dense overgrowth,
parting the trees with a smooth caress and
the gentle prodding of a seasoned lover.
The timber was unrelenting,
refusing to give way,
to give in,
to give it up.
They swelled and swayed. They sighed and throbbed.

Slow down, take your foot off the pedal, stay a while, they said.

The air was oppressive, thick and heavy,

immobilizing and hard to breathe.

The cars slowed,

coaxed

into submission by
the suffocating embrace.

Stay, stay, stay, they said. But the egress
was imminent – 50 yards…30 feet…10 more seconds.

Bemoaning the inevitable, they grudgingly ejected us back out into
the scorching scrutiny of daylight
leaving us feeling
a little slighted,
almost faint,
even,

with only the pounding
in our ears and a spurious contusion between our

thighs as a feeble memento of the nothingness left between us.

------------------

All comments and constructive criticism welcome.

Thanks, Trista.

HYPOCRITICALLY SCOTUSTIC!

2006-06-27T15:09:00.000-07:00

One might, if one were so inclined, think the ever uber Supreme Court Justices were being a bit contradictory, even hypocritical when they first said "no halfsies -- rock, paper, scissors... death" to the Kansas dealth penalty case, and then the very next day ALLOWED a freaking sculpture of The Big 10 (which, of course, includes that all time #6 hit 'Thou Shalt Not Kill' by JC and the Do As I Say, Not As I Doers) to be erected across the street from the U.S. Supreme Court.

But, alas, you would be wrong.

This is absolutely in line with the deterioration of America. It's just that 20 years ago we had to connect the dots, and today it's just one long continuous blood-drenched thread.

GAY PRIDE ROUND-UP

2006-06-26T08:00:00.000-07:00

Great post over at Shakespeare's Sister on Gay Pride around the world.

Read how gay buying power will hit $1 TRILLION by 2012 over at Pam's House Blend.

Gothamist has a great shot of Hillary that she can't deny later.

Finally, a copy of The Homosexual Agenda discovered over at Pandagon.

Queer Beacon's got a great pic of Seattle's Starbucks Employees out and proud and (undoubtedly) overcaffeinated.

Love this piece on the great blow-job debate by the uber-potty mouth at Bitch Ph.D.

ANN COULTER vs ADOLF HITLER

2006-06-22T13:08:00.000-07:00

You HAVE to check out this quiz at AmericaBlog, which asks you to attribute a handful of quotes to either Ann Coulter or Adolf Hitler.

Oh, what I wouldn't give to see a Celebrity Death Match between these two.

Take the quiz now!

I got 11 right.

CUT AND RUN...LIE AND DIE...PICK A DATE!!!

2006-06-21T12:46:00.000-07:00

It came from The Raw Story and was then aired over at Shakespeare's Sister, but now, for a limited time only, it's on a computer screen near you.

If you can't see the video above, click here.
Here's a little sampling...

KERRY: “Stay the course" is not a plan. And what this administration wants is to have a fake debate, as usual. Uh, they're--you hear the drumbeat on every television show from every commentator, "cut and run, cut and run, cut and run, cut and run." That's their phrase. They've found their three words, they love to do that, and they're gonna try to make the elections in November a choice between "cut and run" or "stay the course." That's not the choice. My plan is not "cut and run." Their plan is "lie and die."

And here are three more words for you, Mr. Bush:

PICK. A. DATE.

I've never been a big Kerry fan, and am not still [really, the man's a living snoozefest], but I do appreciate his position and his passion on this issue.

Click here to show your support of the Kerry-Feingold-Boxer Amendment on Iraq.

Borrowed shamelessly without asking from Shakespeare's Sister.

WELL, "LAW & ORDER" IS CERTAINLY SCREWED NOW

2006-06-16T08:53:00.000-07:00

So, the 'new and improved' Supreme Court has finally and without question shat upon the 4th Amendment to the Constitution banning illegal search and seizures.

A brilliant 5-4 court, led by none other than the newly annointed Scalito the Hun, of course, said that police blunders should not result in a "get out of jail free card" for criminals.

Okay. Agreed.

But what that really means is that even though the police have a warrant in their back pockets, they will not be penalized for breaking the law which requires them to knock and announce themselves before entering a private residence by not then allowing them to use any subsequently seized evidence in court.

And get this, they further reasoned that since they already have a warrant, the police would have found the evidence anyway, so what's the big deal, right?

Yeah, that's right. Um, well, officer, he was going to shoot himself in the head anyway, so what's wrong with me just doing it for him? Is that right? Really? Is that all you've got? Jesusagechrist!!!! My three-year olds can formulate better arguments than that!!

That line of thinking in no way justifies trampling on someone's rights -- regardless of what they may or may not have done and what they may or may not have in their possession in their own home. Where, dare I ask, is the presumption of innocence? Upon how many more swords must due process be impaled?

And although I really hate the cliché, this is much too slippery of a slope not to mention. Because, really, what's to stop them from next deciding to break in and arrest someone who has an appointment for an abortion in the adjoining state, or dragging from their home a gay couple with foster children in a state that neither allows civil unions nor gay foster parents (Arkansas!!!), or banning bloggers who actively speak out against their sorry excuse for a leader and this pathetic example of democracy for high treason, or burning books, or hanging witches, or gassing Jews, or shooting Mexicans like carnival ducks as they climb over a 9-foot wall of hate towards a 'better' life?

I mean, really, I don't think it's an unreasonable leap to make. And that's scaring the fucking bejeezus out of me!

I'm finding it completely incomprehensible that the HIGHEST COURT IN THE COUNTRY with (presumably) the smartest, most talented, most sensible (even if a little too right-leaning) voices of justice (ack! cough! gag!) thinks that this makes sense!!!!

But then again, what with the seizing of internet records, domestic wire-tapping, handing over the rights of a woman over her own body to the government, and the stripping of privacy rights solely based on who's sleeping next to you and of what gender, I don't know why I'm so surprised. [Insert here the obvious comparisons to 1984, the Nazis, big brother, communism, etc.]

And everyone scoffing at the ridiculous efforts of the right to get a theoretically impossible 39 states to agree to amend the constitution to define marriage solely as the union between a man and a woman? [Hrumph!] I'm telling ya...It's gonna happen, folks. Just you wait and see. It's right around the corner just past the bread line.

AND THE NUMBER OF THE DAY IS...

2006-06-15T15:56:00.000-07:00

2500

OHIO OUTASSHOLES SOUTH DAKOTA

2006-06-12T12:30:00.000-07:00

So, apparently, Ohio was feeling a little left out, maybe even a little outdone by the ridiculousness that recently took place in South Dakota that is sending women back to coat hangers and dark alleys for abortions -- even life-saving ones (since not even the reservation survived the political ambush).

No, these wiley Ohioans decided in all their wisdom to one-up South Dakota and institute a ban that would additionally make it a felony for any one to take a woman across the state line to get an abortion anywhere. A FELONY!!!

Can you believe this horseshit???

Meanwhile, in other news...

A self-described "pro-lifer" -- ah, the irony -- was arrested in Maryland for threatening to not only bomb an abortion clinic, but also "shoot doctors who provided abortions." Very nice.

Thanks for the tip, Feministing.

HAPPY JESUS DAY!!!

2006-06-10T13:44:00.000-07:00

Phenomenal.

Yes. It's real.

Hat tip, Shakes.

6.6.06 -- the number of the beast

2006-06-06T15:14:00.000-07:00

BLOGGING FOR LGBT FAMILIES DAY

2006-06-01T13:04:00.000-07:00

Almost forgot that today was Blogging for LGBT Families Day. So, thanks Gandksmom for reminding me.

And here we go...

Although this [my other blog] is already pretty obviously an LGBT family blog, I mostly focus on the day-to-day trials and tribulations of raising 3-year old twins with my partner of almost 8 1/2 years and our two dogs.

So today, I thought I'd share a little something with you that most of you may not know.

Shortly after having the kids, we contacted an attorney to find out what we needed to do to make Amy their other legal mother. Tons of paperwork, a visit with a social worker, one happy day in court, and a couple thousand dollars later, she became legally reconized as their mother in the state of Washington.

And I remember thinking at the time how scary it all was. How at any point, it could all fall apart and someone could just say 'no' and that would be it. Amy would never have been their mother -- legally. If something ever happened to me, they would be taken away from her. Let me say that again -- they would be taken away from her. Away from the only other parent they've ever known and loved. Away from the only home they've ever had. Away from the only place they've ever felt safe and secure. And our family would be destroyed.

And, of course, I realize how lucky we were to have lived in a state where 2nd parent adoptions were legal (well, in Seattle anyway); where LGBT attorneys were plentiful; where open-minded family-conscious social workers were readily available to walk you through the process and remind you how amazing it was that you were doing this when you step back and think about all the people, single or otherwise, that have children and don't care about them -- don't want to support them -- don't want to even claim them sometimes -- and even abandon them to a complete stranger, the elements, or worse.

And here we were...choosing to do this. Choosing these children every step of the way. Painstakingly choosing their donor. Painfully choosing to endure the shots, the invasive procedures, the skepticism of our family and friends, the absence of support from our own country, our own government. Choosing to be their mothers more than anything else in the world, regardless of the expense, the uphill battles, the legal hoops we had to jump through. We chose then and continue to choose their lives every day since then.

So, I guess today I'd like to raise my glass to the Choose Lifers because, like it or not, folks, I choose life, too.

X-posted...

SEXUAL CLEANSING??? NOT WHAT MARVIN GAYE WAS SHOOTING FOR, I THINK

2006-06-01T11:06:00.000-07:00

Damn! I hate posts like this!

Gay men are being kidnapped, tortured, and murdered per a death-to-gays fatwa issued last October by Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani, the 77-year-old Iranian who is supreme spiritual leader of all Shia Muslims in Iraq. The fatwa, available on Sistani’s official Web site (to which I refuse to link), sums it up like this: “The people involved [in homosexuality] should be killed in the worst, most severe way of killing.”

Yes, really.

Also, as in Iran, “Badr militants are entrapping gay men via Internet chat rooms,” Hili says. “They arrange a date, and then beat and kill the victim. Males who are unmarried by the age of 30 or 35 are placed under surveillance on suspicion of being gay, as are effeminate men. They will be investigated and warned to get married. Badr will typically give them a month to change their ways. If they don’t, or if they fail to show evidence that they plan to get married, they will be arrested, disappear and eventually be found dead. The bodies are usually discovered with their hands bound behind their back, blindfolds over their eyes and bullet wounds to the back of the head.”

And no, that's not the worst of it!! Apparently, gays are coming up to US troops seeking assistance and being laughed at!!!

The UN has confirmed the targeted kidnapping and killing of gay men in Iraq and Iran. The BBC is reporting on it regularly, even interviewing victims now, but somehow the horror is conveniently absent from the US media. I guess DODT also makes gays invisible. Whatfuckingever!!!

Truly, truly shameful.

But sadly, you know that imbecilic cowardly shrub's only thought on the topic is Damn, I wish I would've thought of that first!

Thanks for the tip, Shakes.

DING DONG, THE WITCH IS ABSTINENCE-ONLY ED

2006-05-31T08:00:00.000-07:00

I don't tend to be one to just copy and paste other posts, but, really, there's no other way to tell this story, so thanks in advance to Jessica.

No sex for you, my pretty!

Get ready to lose your shit.

The Abstinence Clearinghouse is hosting a Leadership Conference in Kansas next week with all of the usual misinformation and scare tactics. But this year is a little different. This year has a theme. Wait for it...The Wizard of Oz.

The movie shows a classic struggle of a lost girl and her misfit friends finding their way, against great odds and in the face of risk to reach their full potential. Many of the scenes and themes in this classic movie can be allegories for today's youth.

Ok, you want a cheesy conference theme? Sure. But the wicked witch of abstinence-only ed, Leslee Unruh, is taking it to the next level.

Just check out some of the panel titles:

If I Only Had a Brain: The Effects of Sex on Brain Physiology

A Horse of a Different Color (This is a group of hip hop dancers. Ahem.)

And my personal favorite: Ding, Dong, the Witch is Dead! Which Old Witch? (The "Safe-Sex" Witch)

I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.

Also, there's a jingle. A jingle!

MAN SEX GOOD, WOMAN SEX BAD

2006-05-30T17:15:00.001-07:00

Unbelievable sh*t happening around the world today. And you're not even gonna believe this one!

Apparently, some towns in Poland that the Pope is visiting this summer are planning on banning "a number of unholy things," says Jessica at Feministing, in honor of his visit, including, but certainly not limited to, the sale of alcoholic beverages and desserts, TV commericals for contraception, lingerie, and...get this...tampons.

That's right. The unholiest of the unholy.

Let me just say...WTF!?!?!?

Apparently, the Pope's mother used to go out into a field and weep during her 7 days on the red wave. Or maybe Broadstreet is right that the church just prefers pads. Or maybe, as Jessica says, it's "because Catholics don't have vaginas."

No, no, evidently the REAL reason is that the state-run heads of advertising believe that ads regarding the female reproductive cycle and all its consequent necessities are "frivolous" advertisements that might offend the Faithful's watching of the Papal tour.

Oh, okay. Well, make sure you keep those cigarette, fast food, and Viagra commercials on a continuous loop then.

Idiots.

SO IS THIS THE 3RD OR 4TH HORSEMAN OF THE APOCOLYPSE NOW?

2006-05-26T11:30:00.000-07:00

Just can't say it better than Wonkette, so here ya go...

Hayden Confirmed! OMG OMG!

Michael Hayden has been confirmed! Holy shit! This Friday is FULL OF SURPRISES!

The lesson is an important one: You can be an idiotic middle-manager motherfucker who’s personally responsible for an overreaching and very possibly criminal domestic spying program, while also being so lousy at this spy shit that you’re caught by USA TODAY, fer chrissakes, and none of that is any impediment to running, more or less without oversight, the most powerful intelligence agency in the world.

What a great day to be an American!

SWEET LADY JUSTICE!

2006-05-25T10:45:00.000-07:00

Okay, so Katherine McPhee didn't win on American Idol, and Tiffani the You're-Not-My-Bitch bitch didn't win on Top Chef and Terry didn't win on Survivor...but dammit, at least there was one saving grace this season...at least the one person who really deserved it, got his just desserts!!!

KEN LAY IS GOING DOWN, BABY!!!!
AP Photo

Lay was convicted on all six counts against him in the trial with Skilling. Skilling was convicted on 19 of the 28 counts against him, including one count of insider trading, and acquitted on the remaining nine.

[...]

[The Judge] set a $5 million bond for Lay and ordered him to surrender his passport before he leaves the courthouse. The judge said the bond already in place for Skilling was sufficient. The judge said he did not believe home confinement was necessary for either.

Okay, somebody help me think this through...Can't we somehow get this judge to preside over Bush's impeachment preceedings? Can't we? Can't we? Huh? Huh? Huh????

MCDONALD'S UPDATE

2006-05-23T11:54:00.000-07:00

I'm happy to report that McDonald's has revised their hiring policy to reflect the following:

McDonald’s USA checks state sex offender registries. In accordance with applicable law, employment applications from individuals identified as convicted sex offenders are rejected.

As a part of our ongoing investigation, McDonald’s USA checks state sex offender registries for all current company employees.

All applications and employee verification records are closely reviewed and individuals not found to meet our strict employment standards or policies are rejected or terminated immediately.

McDonald’s and our franchisees periodically evaluate and update these policies and procedures to ensure we continue to provide a safe environment for our customers and employees.

While I'm sure there are some sex offenders who's crimes do not fit what many people would deem "criminal" (e.g., having consensual sex with a 17-year-old), some of the offenses found so far include rape, aggravated sexual battery, use of a minor for obscene purposes and attempted rape of a child.

The initial Nashville investigation found at least two cases in Nashville where convicted sex offenders ordered not to have contact with children did so through their work.

Eddie Gene Saunders became a McDonald's restaurant manager after serving 15 years in a Tennessee prison for sex offenses involving children as young as 6.

"Every night he was with young children," former McDonald's employee Jeraldin Coppage said. "He worked as the manager, so he managed the young children. There was a lot of teenagers working under him."

And, of course, I am sorry these folks are without (or soon to be without) jobs, as we probably all know at least one person who's been convicted of a crime and is now just trying to get on with their life, but I'm also 100% certain that there are a ton of other places that don't involve such substantial and direct contact with children as working for a "child-friendly" place like McDonald's does.

Thank you, Mr. Steve Russell, Senior Vice President, Human Resources, McDonald’s USA, LLC.

Very glad to hear it. [Read more of the story here...]

Now if we can just get you to quit frying your french fries in BEEF FAT!!!! And provide healthier Happy Meal options for our children, you might just get a handful of us back before Burger King does.

Thanks for the heads up, Peter.

OH, FOR F*CK'S SAKE!!!

2006-05-18T08:06:00.000-07:00

Top 5 things getting my panties in a wad this morning:

#5: Gen. Michael Hayden
So, let me get this straight. The new CIA director nominee (a civilian agency, mind you), is a four-star Air Force general AND former head of the super-secret National Security Agency (1999-2005) who had already implemented a then-covert wire-tapping surveillance program (pre-9/11), but agreed to "expand" the program domestically at Bush's bequest, and still believes it to be legal and necessary.

Uh. Okay. Let's pick him. [Read more...]
#4: Pat (God's Right Testicle) Robertson
The clairvoyant, medium, self-proclaimed prophet, and televangelical "news" anchor has said God "told him" that the US coast would be ravaged by storms this year.

Wow, man. Like, there's no WAY you could've known that had God not whispered it into your ear.

How long, do you wanna bet, before he blames the upcoming hurricane season on the homos and spics? [Read more...]
#3: Gay Marriage Amendment
Ugh! A Senate committee approved a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage on Thursday, voting along party lines to send the amendment — which would prohibit states from recognizing same-sex marriages — to the full Senate.

Oh, good grief! Let it go already! Haven't you got more important issues to debate?!?! [Read more...]
#2: Bush in Yuma
Okay, so, Bush flew to Yuma, AZ to bolster support for a measure to build 370 miles of fence along portions of the U.S.-Mexico border that are popular crossing points for drugs and illegal immigrants.

And in other news...yet another tunnel found coming into the United States. Forty tunnels have been discovered into the US since 2001, according to the California Department of Justice. The most recent was a half-mile corridor from Tijuana into San Diego, considered the largest cross-border tunnel ever discovered in the US.

Der...which way did he go? Which way did he go?
...and the #1 thing stuck in my craw today is: Attorney General Alberto (Two-faced hijo de $*#!) Gonzales
His grandparents were undocumented. He refuses to admit it. He's a traitor to his family, his people, and his country.

I say we send back Albi and keep everyone else. Even steven. Fair trade. Game over. [Read more...]

FreeVideoCoding.com

WOW! GEORGIA. WHODATHUNKIT???

2006-05-17T09:14:00.000-07:00

Morfey's Cake Shoppe in Seattle

A Superior Court judge in Georgia has ruled that Georgia’s ban on same-sex marriage violates the state constitution.

Really??? In Georgia???

Well, don'tcha know there's a catch:

[Fulton County Superior Court Judge Constance C.] Russell said the state’s voters must first decide whether same-sex relationships should have any legal status before they can be asked to decide whether same-sex marriages should be banned.

AHA!

“People who believe marriages between men and women should have a unique and privileged place in our society may also believe that same-sex relationships should have some place — although not marriage,” she wrote. “The single-subject rule protects the right of those people to hold both views and reflect both judgments by their vote.”

Russell said “procedural safeguards such as the single-subject rule rarely enjoy public support.”

“But ultimately it is those safeguards that preserve our liberties, because they ensure that the actions of government are constrained by the rule of law,” the judge wrote.

Well...we won't be holding our breath, but it was a really nice try.

Thanks, Feministe.

OH, BUSHIE, BUSHIE, PLEASE SHUT UP ALREADY

2006-05-16T08:00:00.000-07:00

Alright, folks, so, in a nutshell, here are your two choices for how to handle the "immigration problem" in this country:

1. Bush continues to prositute undocumented workers and not [NOT, I SAY!!!] not militarize the border (with infared cameras, aerial security and motion sensors, no less).

Per the shrub's revelatory speech last night, there'll be 6000 Nat'l Guard moved to the border just long enough to get the bill thru Congress. [Oh, puh-lease! It's sooooo freaking obvious!] Then...business as usual, borders open, pass the burrito. What does he care - he's gone in 2008.

2. Or...the WingNuts take Hitler's lead.

"If it took the Germans less than four years to rid themselves of 6 million Jews, many of whom spoke German and were fully integrated into German society, it couldn't possibly take more than eight years to deport 12 million illegal aliens, many of whom don't speak English and are not integrated into American society."

[Yes, really, that's a direct quote from Vox Day at WorldNetDaily.]

Here, let me pin this yellow star on you. Oh, never mind, this National ID card should do just fine.

Hat tip, Shakes.

CELEBRATE MOTHER'S DAY WITH PEACE

2006-05-15T09:25:00.000-07:00

I received this from pdamerica.org and thought it very clearly and concisely said everything I wanted to say today, so rather than rewrite it, I've just reposted it here in full.

Create a Peace Movement That Ends the Iraq Occupation and Prevents Future Wars of Aggression

Julia Ward Howe, the author of the Battle Hymn of the Republic, became so horrified with the carnage of the Civil War that she began advocating for a Mother's Day of Peace She published the Mother's Day Peace Proclamation in 1870. By 1873, 18 cities celebrated Mother's Day of Peace celebrations - some of these celebrations continued for 30 years. Still today, we have the enduring legacy of Mother's Day.

Now we are faced with the modern carnage of the occupation of Iraq, and still there are threats of another war of aggression in Iran. The Iraq policy is fatally flawed, especially for the nearly 2500 US deaths and for every one of these there has been 100 dead Iraqi civilians. We have to do something to build a peace movement that can stop blood-bathed foreign policy. We've demonstrated, written letters, sung songs, engaged in civil disobedience and traveled far and wide engaging our fellow Americans to demand that the troops come home.

Hundreds of thousands of us marched in the streets of New York City for Peace, Justice and Democracy on April 29th.

What's next? What can we do now? What tools do we have left in this democracy of ours?

Now is the time for the peace movement to get electoral. Americans opposed to preemptive war need to vote for what they believe in, and not vote for candidates that support war. Let's turn the majority of Americans into an electoral majority that can redirect the United States.

The November elections are rapidly approaching, and the primary races come even sooner. Many are close elections where every vote is important. Candidates are jockeying for your support. We must tell them - 'you don't get my vote unless you oppose the occupation of Iraq and will work to prevent future wars of aggression.'

Peace voters are now a solid majority and we must send a clear message to all candidates that no longer will we tolerate avoiding the issue of war - when it is spilling the blood of tens of thousands for oil, bankrupting our nation, and cravenly blocking real solutions to our energy crisis.

We must vote peace in the primaries. And, we must vote peace in the general elections. If there are no peace candidates for federal office in your area, send your contribution, or donate your volunteer time in some other area that does have a peace candidate in the race.

All we need is for a FEW peace candidates to win for the hawkish powers-that-be will stand up and take notice.

There is another important way to register your support for peace candidates. This May 14th on Mother's Day, I am going to sign a Voters Pledge committing myself to voting against any candidate who does not publicly vow to bring a rapid end to the Iraq occupation and to preventing future wars, like Iran.

I hope you'll join me.

MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY...

2006-05-10T09:19:00.000-07:00

How does your garden grow?

Indeed.

That would be the question because she's been with her partner Heather Poe for 14 years now and somehow managed to not ever have to take a stance on gay issues, and, in particular, how they completely and utterly clash with her father's hardline policies.

This is just another one of those wasted opportunities, you know? When you think, man, she's got the world looking at her, she's got the GOP on her side, what an amazing opportunity to be that bridge builder. To at least try.

But, alas, little Mary would rather sit in Daddy's lap for the rest of her life than ruffle a few repug feathers. And as the Washington Post illustrates, her recently published book (highlighted in the sidebar)...

...is steeped in the clear love and admiration Cheney feels for her father, and she dials down her wry humor when he comes up in conversation. Do they ever fight? She searches her memory bank, can't recall anything. Do they have debates at the Sunday dinner table? Nah, they talk about where to go fly-fishing. Was he really scary when she and her sister, Liz, got in trouble as kids? Nope. There was the time the girls pulled off a cabinet door in the kitchen and tried to cover it up by gluing it back to the frame. Dad pulled the whole door off the next time he went to open it. So, how did he punish them? Must not have been bad, because Mary Cheney can't remember.

Yeah, I do that, too, Mary, when I want to block out traumatic events from my past.

But she brushes off the absence of gayness from her book with...

"If I wrote a whole chapter [about coming out] I think it would be pretty boring."

Well, yeah, you're probably right, but that's just because you were blessed with your father's personality and not because you had to come out into a pretty strictly conservative household to a father who was to become the second most powerful man in the country.

But in a nutshell...

She was 16. She and her first girlfriend had just broken up. She skipped school, crashed the car, came home and decided it was time to just do it. Mom cried ("Your life will be so hard") but quickly came around. Dad said he loved her and just wanted her to be happy. The end.

Alright, already. I mean, I do get that being gay is not ALL that she is, and it's not ALL that she wants to talk about, and it's not ALL that she stands for. But if it's not even SOMETHING that she's willing to stand UP for, then there's a real problem.

Pam sums it up perfectly at HouseBlend:

She really is clueless (and uncaring) about the impact her silence in 2004 had on gays and lesbians who lived day to day, watching those red states pass marriage amendments, then made moves to stop gay adoption, all as she lived and worked in the safety and financial comfort that her father's status provided. It was easier not to say a word, not to give a damn, than to challenge the right wing nutcases as they demonized gays and lesbians to stir up The Base.

The thing is, hon, that this is exactly like that whole celebrity-syndrome. Like it or not, you're in the spotlight. Like it or not, you're a role model. Like it or not, you're a poster-child.

Be a real woman and deal with it.

When you're 74, no one is gonna remember you for your contributions to and insider peek into the great campaigns of the early 21st century, but you can bet your ass you'll go down in the history books for never having stood your ground.

BOYCOTT MCDONALD'S NOW!!!!

2006-05-09T10:32:00.000-07:00

Step away from the McNuggets and join us in a nationwide boycott of McDonald's for knowingly jeopardizing the welfare and safety of your children.

A recent investigation by the NewsChannel 5 in Tennessee revealed a shocking secret about the "family-friendly" golden arches...

One man says some McDonald's knowingly hire sex offenders -- and he may know better than anyone.

He's a convicted sex offender and, until today, he worked at a local McDonald's restaurant.

"Everyone knew I was on probation for statutory rape," Scott Smyers told NewsChannel 5's chief investigative reporter Phil Williams.

Another employee had previously been convicted of soliciting sex from a minor. He was recently re-arrested for possessing child pornography.

Perhaps, most disturbing: on the restaurant's McFamily Nights, Smyers says Aloyo was the one who took care of the children.

"They would allow Nicholas to be the one to be out in the lobby with the kids, set up the little bowling alley for the kids, sing on karaoke with the kids."

And this is happening everywhere, not just in Tennessee, but all over the country at both corporate-owned stores and franchises. No one is currently required to conduct background checks on their employees, but according to a statement released by McDonald's corporate:

"Our employment application requires all potential candidates seeking employment to disclose prior sex offenses and felonies. Applications are reviewed and those found not to meet our employment standards or policies are rejected."

Oh, okay. Well, I feel much safer now knowing that you're using the tried and true honor system [WTF?!]. Here, take my children, please.

How freaking clueless can you be?

And what's worse is that they have no current plans to change their feeble excuse for hiring practices, which is why hitting them in the pocketbook is the only way to affect a positive change. Boycott McDonald's now, folks!!! And CLICK HERE to tell them how you really feel while you're at it.

Shame on you, Ronald.

BOYCOTT MCDONALD'S NOW -- BOYCOTT MCDONALD'S NOW -- BOYCOTT MCDONALD'S NOW!!!

In an unrelated story, Disney just dissolved their long-standing partnership with Mickey D's because they no longer wanted their characters to be associated with the Happy Meals that have been contributing to childhood obesity.

Kudos for them.

MOVE OVER, TAMMY WYNETTE!

2006-05-04T10:20:00.000-07:00

25 SECONDS, folks!!!! It took only 25 seconds for her to cave!!!

Ugh!! Get a freaking backbone. Or borrow Jenna's. Or Ofelia (Bush's longhorn).
That's right, shrubette, stand by your man. It certainly worked for sHillary.

Oh, oh, oh...but this is apparently the way things are done in the marionette family. Amanda at ThinkProgress.org posts this:

President Bush, 4/28/06:

I think the national anthem ought to be sung in English, and I think people who want to be a citizen of this country ought to learn English and they ought to learn to sing the national anthem in English.

But in his book American Dynasty, Kevin Phillips notes that during Bush’s first presidential campaign, he would often sing the national anthem in Spanish. From pg. 142: When visiting cities like Chicago, Milwaukee, or Philadelphia, in pivotal states, he would drop in at Hispanic festivals and parties, sometimes joining in singing “The Star-Spangled Banner” in Spanish, sometimes partying with a “Viva Bush” mariachi band flown in from Texas.

I know, I know...*big yawn* so Dubya's a hypocrite. Big whoop.

Hat tip, ShakesSis.

JOSE, CAN YOU SING?

2006-05-03T12:29:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I've listened to the new "version" of the Star-Spangled Banner (hear a 30-second clip below) and read the lyrics (click here), and here are my thoughts.

It's very reminescent of "We Are The World"

This is America, and, as far as I know, free speech is still allowed

I do think it is a song of protest, and therefore much more of a civil rights movement anthem than a substitute for the Francis Scott Key version

No one is suggesting that we supplant that version with this one

Let it go, Louie. Get past your ego. Get over yourself and hum along.

Click play to hear a 30-second excerpt of Nuestro Himno,
the Spanish version of the Star-Spangled Banner.

BALLSILICIOUS!!! (Jon Stewart's fabulous tag)

2006-05-02T10:58:00.000-07:00

Oh my God, this is the best thing I've seen all year!!! If you didn't watch the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner (and why would you), here's what you missed.

Stephen Colbert is my absolute new hero!!!! Watch him take down the entire GOP with one fell swoop.

Part II

Part III

Thanks, Shakes, for the links.

NO SPENDING $$$ TODAY

2006-05-01T10:50:00.000-07:00

In case you were unaware, today is "Un Dia Sin Imigrantes" (A Day Without Immigrants), a collection of nationwide economic protests by immigrants and supporters to prove to Congress how important their contributions are.

So, wear a white shirt and don't spend a single penny today to show your support for fair immigration reform.

Cross-posted at My Other Blog

WAIT! YA CAN'T SEND 'EM BACK YET!!!!

2006-04-24T12:55:00.000-07:00

Bush: Massive Deportation Not Realistic

Associated Press

IRVINE, Calif. - President Bush, rebutting lawmakers advocating a law-and-order approach to immigration, said Monday that those who are calling for massive deportation of the estimated 11 million foreigners living illegally in the United States are not being realistic. "Massive deportation of the people here is not going to work," Bush said as a Congress divided over immigration returned from a two-week recess. "It's just not going to work."

How'ma gonna ever get all that brush cleared off my ranch in time for the Annual Cinco de Mayo Fried Mexican and Gays-on-a-Cob celebration without all my little ayMEEgoes?!?!?!

CAN I BORROW YOUR PENCIL, FAGGOT?

2006-04-21T09:39:00.000-07:00

You know, I never really thought I'd appreciate living in California, but today, at least, I do -- but just barely.

By a very slim and hotly contested 2-1 vote, the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that students may not wear t-shirts that read: "Be Ashamed, Our School Embraced What God Has Condemned'' on the front and "Homosexuality Is Shameful'' on the back.

"Public school students who may be injured by verbal assaults on the basis of a core identifying characteristic such as race, religion, or sexual orientation have a right to be free from such attacks while on school campuses. As Tinker clearly states, students have the right to 'be secure and to be let alone,' '' Reinhardt said.

Let me just say, thank freaking God for that!!!

This is not a free speech issue, folks. And yes, this is very timely considering the growing campaign across this country's schools, both public and private, to annul (did you get that? actually ANNUL!!!!) policies protecting gays and lesbians from harassment.

Okay, so let's make this very clear for you obviously very slow learners. Under the constitution, you have the right to be an asshole. You have the right to express your opinion in whatever way you see fit SO LONG AS IT DOES NOT THEN IMPINGE ON MY RIGHTS. The moment you begin to traipse upon my personal liberties, you can no longer claim 1st amendment protection. Get it?

This is my dance space. That is your dance space. Even Patrick Swayze grasped the concept.

The scary part is that with the very limited holding to instances of "derogatory and injurious remarks directed at students' minority status such as race, religion and sexual orientation," t-shirts reading "Dwarfs Go Home" or "WOMEN ARE JUST INCUBATORS" or "Get your wheelchairs out of my parking space" are just bound to start popping up all over the place.

THE DEVIL'S ADVOCATES

2006-04-17T15:14:00.000-07:00

Man, these people just have no sense of decency!

The much maligned Reverend Fred (the fag hater) Phelps and his progeny are at it again, only this time they're targeting the grieving families of dead soldiers instead of just accosting the families of dead gay loved ones (you may recall Phelps et. al protesting outside Matthew Shepherd's funeral in 1998 and essentially telling his already devastated family that he was in hell where he belonged).

But now that there are dead soldiers involved, Congress is finally getting their panties in a wad -- obviously more important than the hundreds of gay funerals at which the Phelpses have been picketing for the last 8 freaking years!

And what's even worse is that the ACLU might have to actually take up their cause if the legislation being passed by some states to ban graveside protests treads too closely on the first amendment right to free speech. Boy, you know they're drawing straws over there as to who's gonna have to make that call! I mean, the guy's a dick, yes, but he has every right to be a dick. Period. As Shakes so eloquently put it, "impropriety is a paltry excuse for limiting free speech."

But apparently this dimwit actually believes (ala Pat Robertson) that all the catastrophic events plaguing our country today (Katrina, the war, the mining deaths) are all part of God's wrath towards a country that tolerates homosexuality.

"God is punishing this nation with a grievous, smiting blow, killing our children, sending them home dead, to help you connect the dots," said Shirley Roper-Phelps, the spokeswoman for the group and one of Mr. Phelps's daughters.

And I'm sitting here thinking no, no way, that's not a 9-year old boy holding up a sign on the front page of the New York Times that says the victims of AIDS and the Iraqi war deserved to die. Deserved to die? It can't be. Who would do such a moronic, irresponsible, petty, destructive thing? And where the fuck is DHS when you need them?

The man compares himself to Noah, for crissakes!

An award winning ex-civil rights attorney (if you can believe that), he was disbarred (for fabricating witness testimony) in 1979 and has since made it his personal mission to rid the world of everything gay.

And here's the cherry on the cake... 11 of his 13 spawn are also attorneys and now do the church's bidding in court. Great. Just great. Talk about the Devil's Advocate.

Lest we end this morbid tale on this pathetic note, here's a trumped protest by some surprising activists. It's a long one, but the ending is well worth it.

THE PULPIT PHARMACY (or the Unconscionable Conscience Clauses)

2006-04-13T10:49:00.000-07:00

Alright, people, this is verging on lunacy. Or communism. Or something.

If you haven't heard yet, there are a number of just brilliant socially irresponsible morons who claim to be pharmacists refusing to dole out contraceptives or morning-after pills to clients based on their own moral (not ethical, mind you) beliefs, and some companies (boycott Albertsons AND Safeway!) have actually agreed to cave into their employees' "rights of conscience" and not penalize or force them to simply do their job -- which is to read and fill prescriptions accurately and without any drug interactions (hopefully). Period. That's it.

Naturally, this ridiculous behavior prompted a whole slew of what-ifs, as in what if a doctor refused to perform life-saving measures because he was morally opposed to a patient's lifestyle, job, race, gender, creed, etc? Or what if pharmacists decide not to fill prescriptions for AIDS patients? Or what if a Christian cop or a firefighter refuses to rescue an aetheist or Buddhist or Muslim or Jew?

And, of course, you say, oh, it would NEVER come to that. That's just insanity!

Well, folks, welcome to the asylum...

A WORKER'S PERSPECTIVE
Now, the Ridiculous Right are refusing to fill prescriptions for VITAMINS and ANTIBIOTICS if they just so happened to be prescribed by a company who just so happens to support the opposing side to any one of their 15 katrillion preposterous over-the-top arguments.

And yes, of course employers are expected to reasonably accommodate employees' religious beliefs, but dispensing drugs is a "bona fide occupational qualification". If you can't perform an essential part of your job, get the fuck out and go ask Pat Robertson for a job!!

A BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE
Jesus H. Christ! If this sort of hyper-judgmental God-complex behavior isn't sacriligous, blasphemous, breaking at least a couple of commandments, and the model anti-Samaritan display (i.e., the Samaritan administered first-aid and rescued a Jewish man with whom his beliefs were in moral conflict!!!), then I just don't know what's left.

But I've no doubt we'll soon find out because if these self-proclaimed "Christians" would go back and actually re-read their precious bible without their hetero-aryan-GOP-colored glasses, they would soon realize that Sodom was really destroyed because its inhabitants were inhospitable, greedy, selfish, insolent, and disrespectful to God and man. The Sodomites were destroyed because of their arrogance, you fools! You should be careful what you wish for.

HOMOS vs. BEANERS???

2006-04-11T10:04:00.000-07:00

Really stirring debate this morning over who's bandwagon to jump on first -- Gays vs. Undocumented Workers started by Jasmyne at the Advocate.Her take, essentially is this:

Debate around America’s illegal immigration problem has reached an all-time high. With several versions of various bills being debated in Washington and hundreds of staged protests around the country both supporting and against extending citizenship and other rights to millions of illegal immigrants, America has forgotten that there are legal, taxpaying, and voting citizens in America who don’t yet have all of their rights.

It’s a slap in the face to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people to take up the debate on whether to give people who are in this country illegally additional rights when we haven’t even given the people who are here legally all of their rights.

Which is absolutely true, but Pam at HouseBlend, counters with this:

It is not a slap in the face to recognize that this country hasn't dealt with these workers, who toil at the bottom of the socioeconomic ladder, picking the fruits and vegetables we eat, mowing lawns, cleaning homes, building houses -- doing work that no citizen can do (note I didn't say willing to do), because employers cannot exploit U.S. citizens as they do undocumented workers. The underground economy pulls wages down for all workers in this sphere, and that's the way these employers -- and the government -- like it.

Also a very valid point.

Jasmyne continues to argue that:

While I agree that immigration reform is an important issue—and perhaps it could become the next leading civil rights movement—we haven’t even finished with our current civil rights movement.

But what's to say any particular civil rights movement has to CONCLUDE before another begins? What gives one marginalized group higher priority than any other? That's like saying the black civil rights movement should have waited until the women's civil rights movement was complete (which is still an ongoing struggle). We'd never get anywhere if we all had to take a number.

When the time is right, a movement swells. Catch the wave and ride it in. Equal rights are equal rights. We should all be in this fight together, not against one another. Imagine the numbers we could produce, the real change we might affect, if we ALL (so-called 2nd class citizens) jumped on one another's bandwagon when our time came to rise and protest. If we ALL stood side by side for each other's equal rights, recognizing that the rights being denied to others are no different and no less important than the rights being denied to ourselves. And understanding that winning civil rights for one is ALWAYS a step towards winning civil rights for all.

We just can't allow ourselves to suffer from the "me first" attitude that Jasmyne touts. It defeats the purpose of an equal rights struggle. It empowers the right-wingers to take advantage of what they pereceive to be rifts in our united front. And it's the primary reason we're still, in 2006, fighting for our basic civil rights -- because we just can't seem to stick together long enough to outlast the frustration.

Pam finally quotes an open letter to the Advocate posted on Queer Law Watch, which states in part:

We are painfully aware that lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender communities still lack many basic protections under the law in this country, including the right to care for and support all of our families, in the various ways in which we construct family and kinship. Nevertheless, supporting immigrant rights, while we continue to work for LGBT liberation, does nothing to hurt our cause. In fact, we believe the opposite to be true, and want to work towards building powerful coalitions between immigrant and LGBT movements to work together for social justice.

...we call on immigrant movements and (non-immigrant) black organizations to work together for real racial and economic justice in this country. Together these movements can work to end the exploitation and targeting of both communities, and to ensure that black folks and immigrants do not end up having to choose between competing for low-paying jobs, or being targeted for detainment or imprisonment.

And I absolutely agree.

I truly hope that Jasmyne realizes how unproductive, and worse, even destructive her article is. Promoting divisive thinking is a tool of the Right. Inciting internal conflict is a useless and obstructive position that will serve little purpose save for fueling the conservative fire and making more difficult an already appalling plight from which we ALL ultimately seek real and true emancipation.

PROOF POSITIVE - HE'S AN IDIOT!

2006-04-10T13:19:00.000-07:00

Following is just a BRIEF list of shrubisms from ONE Q&A at the Johns Hopkins University School of Advanced International Studies. (Man, he had to know he was way out of his league there.)

..."many problems come to the Oval Office. And you don't know what those problems are going to be, which then argues for having smart people around. That's why you ought to serve in government if you're not going to be the president. You have a chance to influence policy by giving good recommendations to the president." [so sayeth the puppet]
"This is what delegation -- I don't mean to be dodging the question, although it's kind of convenient in this case, but -- I really will. I'm going to call the secretary and say you've brought up a very valid question, and what are we doing about it? That's how I work." [fyi, georgie - delegating should not equal ignorance]
"...the protests really don't bother me. I hope that's not viewed as cavalier, but it's just the way I feel." [No, no, cavalier would mean that you actually knew what the protests were about and then chose to disregard them -- a level of knowledge and awareness that might be just a tad out of reach for you, Junior.]
"It's -- a while ago at a press conference I remember uttering, you know, one wonderful piece of wisdom. It was like a dog chasing his tail. It actually didn't fly that good. But nevertheless, my point -- but, thank you." [WHAT?!?#!?@?]
"There's also an ongoing investigation that's a serious investigation. " [Oh, okay, well if it's a serious investigation...]
On declassifying government documents: "I wanted to see -- people to see what some of those statements were based on, so I wanted to see -- I wanted people to see the truth." [Uh-huh. No Freudian slips there.]
On the U.S. policy on prostitution: "I will be glad to call Condi and talk to her about her policy." [Nice to know the right hand doesn't have a fucking clue what the other right hand is doing.]
"I was reading the other day..." [Sorry, that was enough for me.]
"We should not be -- we should insist that governments fight corruption. Seems like to me is the rational thing to do, with taxpayers' money." [Agggghhhhh!!! Seriously?? Pot, meet kettle.]
39 = the number of times Dubya said "you know..." in responding to only 12 questions.

I'm so embarrassed to be an American.

Click here to read the full disgusting display of idiocy.

YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF

2006-04-06T15:48:00.000-07:00

Click Here to Hear Harry Taylor Bash Bush To His Face

And let me just say...BRAVO!

Unfortunately, Mr. Taylor hasn't been seen or heard from since his "speech" and, mysteriously, none of his family and friends are available for comment.

WE'VE GOT FOSSILS. WE WIN!

2006-04-05T08:00:00.000-07:00

According to comedian Lewis Black, regarding the battle between evolutionary science and "intelligent design": "We've got fossils. We win."

Scientist's find a fish fossil that they're calling the missing link!

Evolution exists. Yup. It does.

So there.

Hat tip Radical Russ

DUKE RAPE SCANDAL

2006-04-03T11:17:00.000-07:00

I am so completely appalled with the way this case is being handled. I can't believe it's taking so long to put these assholes away.

As of this morning, still no criminal charges have been filed against the overprivileged, chauvinistic, racist predators!!! NOT A ONE!!!

But the neighbors, the community, the students have really come through for these women. It's been a powerful thing to watch unfold. They've come out for candlelight vigils, on websites, on school bulletin boards, in the local papers, on TV. The outpouring of support has been really admirable, and says a lot about a town that has never really fully welcomed the uppity silver-spooned institution into their primarily blue-color way of life.

RELATIVE RESPONSIBILITY
But what does it say about this beacon of higher learning and their venerable atheletic community that no one appears to be at all surprised with the turn of events. In fact, no one at all seems to be questioning a single aspect of the victims' stories. Everyone, it seems, backs the women 100%. And well they should...

But here's the problem there. If it's such a given that this sort of thing happened, could happen, might happen, has maybe even happened before, then how did it come to this and why didn't anyone intervene before two innocent women were shredded to pieces?

And furthermore, aren't those who were aware of the risks, of the behavior, of the problems, aren't they just as responsible for turning a blind eye to a situation that could only inevitably erupt into this exact kind of mess?

I mean, if you own a pit bull and you know it has a propensity for violence and then it injures a child on the street, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR ITS ACTIONS.

DEFENDING DUKE
The response by the Duke powers that be, however, has been less than commendable. They're obviously only trying to save their own ass, keep their image from being too tarnished. They've practically said as much, for crissakes!!

"Universities show their mettle by the way they respond to difficult circumstances, not by their absolute ability to prevent such circumstances from ever happening," Duke President Richard Brodhead said. "I hope -- and you have it from me that I'll do my best -- that this university will continue to respond to this situation in a way that will bring us credit." (The News & Observer, April 2, 2006)

And what's more...more than 10 days after the victims' reported the incident, the only tangible consequences the rapists have had imposed on them is that their lacrosse games were all canceled for the season, pending the results of the investigation, of course.

Aw, poor babies. Fucking despicable!!

Follow the scandal at Justice 4 Two Sisters.

HEADS OF STATE GONE WILD!

2006-03-31T13:37:00.000-08:00

Three world leaders walk into a bar...

Okay, stop me if you've heard this one already.

So, the big pow-wow in Cancun this past week included discussion of the guest-worker proposal currently on the Senate chopping block. Among a number of other pseudo-amnesty provisions it also includes making passports required for travel between the U.S. and Mexico or Canada. This will "facilitate travel and trade," says the shrub, "if implemented properly."

Oh, okay, so you mean we have to have a $116 passport to come into the U.S. now? Well, I guess I'll just turn around and go home then. That sure stopped me from emigrating from my own poverty-stricken country to come and work for your wealthy corporate gods who are willing to pay me next to nothing because they can't get anyone else to do it.

Great immigration policy. Maybe you should fire your Chief of Staff.

MY SINCEREST APOLOGIES, MR. SCALIA

2006-03-30T08:46:00.000-08:00

Evidently, I was wrong. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia did NOT flip the bird to a reporter outside of a church as I erroneously posted on Tuesday. What he ACTUALLY did was tell his critics to "go get fucked up your ass" (or vaffanculo) outside of a church, according to John at AmericaBlog.

And here's a nice pretty picture just recently released by the Boston Herald forever immortalizing the narcissistic Sicilian and his sweet-talking ways.

Oh, and the report of Scalia immediately following the oh-so-hospitable gesture with, "You're not going to print that, are you?" was, apparently, right on. For his part, Big Tony (as Pam likes to refer to him) stands by his statement that the gesture was not intended to be obscene.

Uh, okay.

Ooh, pick me, pick me! I want to ride to hell in a handbasket, too!

ARE YOU A ROOSEVELT DEMOCRAT?

2006-03-29T09:47:00.000-08:00

Read a truly poignant piece of writing this morning by Jeanne at Body and Soul that really caught me offguard in its velvety ability to stir inklings of patriotism, democracy, and activism in me without coming across like the Sermon on the Mount.

I was moved almost to tears by her closing paragraph, and am so glad to be starting my day feeling this full.

Beautifully done, Jeanne.

Hat tip, ShakesSis.

REARRANGING DECK CHAIRS ON THE TITANIC

2006-03-28T10:20:00.000-08:00

I've always love that cliché. Maybe because it's just so visual. You can almost taste the futility, you know?

This week, and mind you, it's only Tuesday, Dubya's cracker jack team must be freakin' scrambling to identify just the right deck chair styles, cushions, and most appropriate locations on this sinking behemoth.

Here's just a sampling of the chaos...

Largest mobilization of Hispanics since Cesar Chavez is scaring the bejeezus out of the GOP
Scalia flips the bird at the Constitution and then says, "Don't print that!"
Radioactive dirty bomb material slithers right past top notch Homeland Security
White House Chief of Staff flees for his life
Tom DeLay's concealed weapon license is revoked! (duh!)
American involvement in Iraqi civil war is unwelcome, damaging, and obtrusive
AmericaBlog compiling largest ever stupid Bush tricks (currently totaling 1200+)
GOP feeding golden boy Bush to the sharks left and right
19-yr-old nephew Pierce is the Shrub's sole supporter
And as if that wasn't funny enough, here's a quick video to top it all off:

SI, SE PUEDE! (YES, WE CAN!)

2006-03-27T12:17:00.000-08:00

BOB CHAMBERLIN/LOS ANGELES TIMES/AP

The U.S. House of Representatives has passed legislation that would make it a felony (A FELONY,PEOPLE!!!) to be in the U.S. illegally, impose new penalties on employers who hire illegal immigrants, require churches to check the legal status of people they help, and erect fences along one-third of the U.S.-Mexican border.

The Senate begins debating proposals Tuesday.

There are currently some estimated 12 million undocumented immigrants in the U.S. At least half a million marched on L.A. this past Saturday in protest.

"When did you ever see a Mexican blow up the World Trade Center? Who do you think built the World Trade Center?" said David Gonzalez, 22, who marched in Los Angeles with a sign that read, "I'm in my homeland."

From news.yahoo.com
Bush will meet with Mexican President Vicente Fox on Thursday to discuss the implications of such a law. For Fox, it could just come down to a matter of numbers -- more than $17 billion was sent back to Mexico by undocumented workers in 2005 alone. You don't really think he's going to take this lying down, do you?

For the 11 other Latin American countries who have met 3 times to discuss their strategy for blocking the legislation should it make it to the Senate floor, it's just a f*cking slap in the face.

Guatemalan Vice President Eduardo Stein, in turn, called the bill "an affront to Latin America by a government that claims to be our partner, but which apparently only wants our money and our merchandise, and that sees our people as an epidemic."

I mean, come on, what does a fence say to you? What do you think it says to Mexico? What about the rest of the world? How would we ever again escape being labeled racist, ethnocentrist, isolationist?

HECTOR MATA/AFP/GETTY IMAGES
"ugly American": Poles for a new wall under construction mark the border between San Luis, Ariz., and San Luis Olorado, Mexico. Regional leaders have united in opposing proposals to extend the barrier.

We can't walk away from this diplomatic, social and economic disaster without some pretty severe consequences. And, personally, I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that pissy stick once it comes a callin'.

Article excerpts and photos from the Christian Science Monitor (yes, really).

HOW MANY BUSHIES DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

2006-03-23T12:27:00.000-08:00

The answer is...10!!!

One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed
One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed
One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb
One to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret stockpile of light bulbs
One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb
One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner: Light Bulb Change Accomplished
One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in detail how Bush was literally in the dark
One to viciously smear #7
One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along
And finally, one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country

Note: Did anyone notice that the light bulb never actually got changed?

Hat tip to Missy!

YOU'RE GONNA NEED A HELLUVA LOT MORE THAN LUCK

2006-03-17T15:10:00.000-08:00

Although it'll be all over the homoblogosphere, I couldn't not talk about the NYC St. Patrick's Day parade banning gays from participating in this year's festivities.

"WHAT THE F*CK?!?!" you say.

I know! Insane, isn't it? No gays in a parade?

John Dunleavy, President of the Ancient Order of Hibernians (organizers of the annual 5th Ave. parade) essentially compared gays to Nazis and the KKK:

“If an Israeli group wants to march in New York, do you allow neo-Nazis into their parade?...“If African Americans are marching in Harlem, do they have to allow the Ku Klux Klan into their parade? People have rights. If we let the ILGO [the defunct Irish Lesbian and Gay Organization] in, is it the Irish Prostitute Association next?”

Nice, isn't it?

Pam, over at Pam's House Blend, sums it up stupendously with an "And a top o' the morning to you, f*cktard". Just genius, girl!

Read the rest of the ridiculousness HERE as reported by the Gay City News.

As an aside, I'd like to also note that sHillary, Rudy, and Pitaki are all conspicuously quiet about this whole affair, what with it being an election year and all.

TWO DOZEN ARMED COPS AND A HELICOPTER

2006-03-16T10:27:00.000-08:00

Barenaked Joe covers this story so well, I think I'll just let him tell it.

The religious Right's strategy of dealing with Soulforce [LGBT people of faith on a 51-day Equality Ride to faith-based campuses and military academies across the country] is clear in this paragraph about the students' arrival at Regent University:

"We got information that demonstrators were arrested Friday at Liberty University [founded by televangelist Jerry Falwell], so we were just here to keep the peace, make sure the demonstration was peaceful," (Virginia Beach police spokesperson Rene) Ball said.

Let me tell you, you do not need at least two dozen cops, a helicopter, a "Marine Patrol Dive Team," several vehicles, and a police chaplain to keep the peace. Last fall I witnessed about fifty anti-war protesters - some very hostile - across the street from 200 pro-Bush supporters - many just as hostile - kept at peace with a handful of DC police. Even in this tense situation peaceful people were still allowed to cross the lines to speak with one another. Just what kind of information did Virginia Beach police "get" that would inspire them to all but call out the national guard and prohibit students from peaceful interaction?

The religious Right is calling out all the stops in order to portray Soulforce as some invading violent protest group. Now homosexuals must be kept out by force if necessary. What's next?

Soulforce has visited these campuses in the past with no problems, they have repeatedly stated and shown they are firmly committed to nonviolence and dialogue. But all of a sudden Liberty and Regent lock down their students and man the barricades because two dozen kids want to pass out leaflets, say prayer together, and hold bible study. Isn't that what these bible thumpers have been doing to the rest of us for decades?

Pam also notes that one Soulforce rider, Kayla Bonewell, described the "outrageous farce" of not being able to cross police lines to peacefully speak with students who very clearly wanted to speak with them. Some students were even in tears over the injustice of it all.

It's just so unbelievably absurd. Aren't these adults? I mean, aren't these even educated, full grown men and women fully capable of making their own decisions regarding to whom they wish to communicate and in what capacity?

No one has any right to be telling them what they can and cannot do. I mean, it's not like they're impregnated incest victims from South Dakota or something.

Digressions of a Mad Lesbian

An open letter to overly curious grocery checkers

Why Paula Deen Is Like A Promiscuous Lover

Because Being Finger Happy Doesn't Always Have to Mean THAT!!

THE KNOTTY TREE

WHY BEING OUTED IS NOT THE SAME AS COMING OUT ON YOUR OWN TERMS

THE LONG DARK FALL

BACK TO BLACK

You Can Catch More Flies with Miel than with Vinagre

Temo el Ojo

The One with the True Love's Kiss

He Never Felt a Thing

Friday is for Foreplay

Tiger from a Top Hat

Room to Breathe

You Shouldn't Be Parading Around Like That

Optometryst

Mocca-Chocolata-Yaya

Crouching Aesthetician, Hidden Dominatrix

O-s-c-a-r M-a-y-e-r

Eats Shoots and Leaves for the Golden Coast

Pretty Prancing Ponies

August is Aware that it is Not September

OUT GOES PALIN, IN COMES JINDAL

LORD, PLEASE HELP US RID THE WORLD OF THIS ABOMINABLE FIDELITY!!

LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

THE ERADICATION OF HATE

NATIONAL DAY WITHOUT A GAY!

MOURNING HAS BROKEN

ELLEN ON A RECENT HATE CRIME

THIS ONE'S FOR ANN!!!

MATCH.COM FOR THE POLITICAL WHORE IN ALL OF US

THE PERFECT LIBERAL STORM

THIS IS NOT ANOTHER POST ABOUT BRITNEY!

These bad and terrible things...

IF HE ONLY HAD A BRAIN...

Congress needs to hold Cheney accountable

PLEDGE TO SEE A SICKO!!!

IT'S TIME TO END THIS WAR

HAPPY, HAPPY, JOY, JOY!!!!!

GET THEE TO THE POLLS, PEOPLE!!! OR SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY!!!

STICK TO THE SCRIPT, JOHN!!!

THE SCARIEST STORY EVER TOLD

F*CKY F*CKER F*CKERTON

NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, NO SERVICE (IF ONLY IT WERE THAT SIMPLE)

THE BLOGOSPHERE'S ALL ABUZZ WITH THE BIG LIE

AMERICA IS BETTER THAN THIS!

SHE WAS MESQUITE TREES, BARBED WIRE AND A PRICKLY PEAR IN THE MIDDLE OF A DUSTY TEXAS PASTURE

DOY! WHICH WAY DID THEY GO? WHICH WAY DID THEY GO?

I GUESS SIZE DOES MATTER

CAN I JUST ASK...

THEY'RE LIKE FUCKING LIZARD TAILS

THOSE WASCALLY WABBITS

MAYBE NO ONE'LL NOTICE...

AH...SO THIS IS BLISS...

I KNOW IT'S NOT NICE TO SPEAK ILL OF THE DEAD

NOT THE TIDE, BUT AT LEAST A WAVE

harlot

HYPOCRITICALLY SCOTUSTIC!

GAY PRIDE ROUND-UP

ANN COULTER vs ADOLF HITLER

CUT AND RUN...LIE AND DIE...PICK A DATE!!!

WELL, "LAW & ORDER" IS CERTAINLY SCREWED NOW

AND THE NUMBER OF THE DAY IS...

OHIO OUTASSHOLES SOUTH DAKOTA

HAPPY JESUS DAY!!!

6.6.06 -- the number of the beast

BLOGGING FOR LGBT FAMILIES DAY

SEXUAL CLEANSING??? NOT WHAT MARVIN GAYE WAS SHOOTING FOR, I THINK

DING DONG, THE WITCH IS ABSTINENCE-ONLY ED

MAN SEX GOOD, WOMAN SEX BAD

SO IS THIS THE 3RD OR 4TH HORSEMAN OF THE APOCOLYPSE NOW?

SWEET LADY JUSTICE!

MCDONALD'S UPDATE

OH, FOR F*CK'S SAKE!!!

WOW! GEORGIA. WHODATHUNKIT???

OH, BUSHIE, BUSHIE, PLEASE SHUT UP ALREADY

CELEBRATE MOTHER'S DAY WITH PEACE

MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY...

BOYCOTT MCDONALD'S NOW!!!!

FCKY FCKER F*CKERTON